49 years later suicidal depression hopelessness stress and overwhelmed anxiety. How to overcome all this. How to be happy. be in the moment. I want to move and live near the water and a smaller place at lake Macquarie and I live in Sydney but is it practical. There are so many things I want to do and plan but is it possible. how to be in the moment.
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Hey @Tristan,
I hear you. After so many years of battling with depression, anxiety, stress and suicidal thoughts, I can only imagine your exhaustion. And your question: “how to overcome all this?”, really hits close to home. I share the same struggles as yours and certainly have days like today when I feel this hopelesness. Where to start when it feels like there’s so many things to work on? So many things that are all important to take care of. When I dive into these questions, I have to remind myself that we can only move one foot after another. Despite the time that has passed, despite the longing for brighter days - which is more than understandable and valid - but there is a need for being patient with ourselves while we are trying to heal. It’s probably the hardest thing, but such an important one.
How to be happy. be in the moment.
This is such a valid question - and certainly one that we all ask ourselves at least once in our life. In my opinion, being happy is different than being in the moment. You can be in the moment and learn to accept things as they are without necessarily feel happy - or bad. It’s a state of seeing things as they are, and accepting what we can control or not.
If you’re curious about it, practices based on mindfulness might be very interesting to you. These days, there are plenty of books, articles, publications of all kind to learn what it could imply to be more “in the moment”, which is also very useful when you are longing for something that requires time to be done (such as moving somewhere else). Personally, what helps me is to have real breaks during the day and commit to commit to be focused on what I’m doing. Which implies: emotions, thoughts, physical sensations as well. And just let them flowas they are. It’s all about acknowledging, feeling more connected to myself - and less ruminating about the past or future. Some people do that through meditation. Others through daily life actions, such as walking, gardening, creating, cooking… It depends on what you usually enjoy and the habits that you have. To find what might suits you, I’d love to recommend you a book called “Meditations for Healing Trauma” - just so you know: the tools/exercises that are in it doesn’t require you to have experienced any kind of trauma. It’s actually about different practices that you can try, at your own pace, at home, and implement in your daily life. It’s also a very good introduction to mindfulness and its relation with mental health. Or maybe this video made by @taylor could be a great introduction as well:
Other than this: are there things you generally enjoy? Personally, I learned to find a way to soothe my heart when I feel hopeless by being creative. Drawing, crochet, and a couple of years ago it was also photography. This kind of activity can be a fuel to your soul, a way to have projects and feel the pride of creating something, but also to be more focused on the present moment.
There is some beauty to seek in your life, even when it feels hopeless. Just you being here is a gift. Your presence is valued and I want to truly thank you for being here with us. Bright lights are not always just ahead of us. There’s always a bit of them around right now, but it needs you to take the time to see those. Know that there is already a lot of love for you from this community. Thank you for all the steps you’ve been taking for 49 years, as it allows you to be here today. 
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