Today is day 4 645 days since i fell 2-1 2 stories

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Belongs to: Therapist Cry's While Listening to Wings of Maria Pt 1 and 2 by Tool
Today is day 4.645 days since I fell 2-1/2 stories to concrete and only broke my T-12 it imploded and left my spinal cord shredded and me paraplegic. My daughter was 11 and my son was 6 years old. They were both there when it happened. My daughter realized the seriousness has suffered survivors guilt sense February 4, 2025. It will be exactly 13 years. I recently found out Iā€™m having my second granddaughter due February 4 itā€™s a chance for me to reframe that date in my mind. My son has been obsessed with tool for a very very long time talks about 46 and two the fact that itā€™s expected that we will gain two chromosomes. Heā€™s obsessed with the Fibonacci sequence built, computers build he builds everything at 17 he was certified as a pipe and pressure vessel welder, his creative in his mind and with his hands, he says very few works, but when he says something, itā€™s always worth listening to and really profound. They are both aware that I full coded twice once in the life flight and once at the shop unit, I was in a coma I was lucid and they didnā€™t know it, but I heard the doctors talking about. I was deteriorating so I got here both of my kids, tell me their final goodbye and Iā€™ve lived with that ever since. My daughters goodbye was very apologetic. I could tell she had guilt. Then, my son his guy was more of a pleading that I donā€™t leave but if I had to go then I should go. The medical staff had pretty much determined that everything was shutting down my liver, my kidneys. My brain activity was slowing so they had come to conclusion. My father was the only one who said no heā€™s not gonna die. I heard him say that to the doctor and charge nurse. The doctor told him to try to make peace with it. My dad told the doctor, ā€œheā€™s not gonna die because heavenā€˜s not ready for him in the hell is afraid of a hostile takeover!!ā€ The last five years, my body has been failing. My health has been getting worse and worse said short-term goals right now. My only goal is to see my granddaughter Born when I see that and I will set a new goal.But 10,000 days is too far away I will run out of goals before then. I went back to work 11 months after my accident and was able to work for 7 years Until I hurt myself and ended up with a bone infection in my femur that started a downhill slide. Iā€™ve canceled new paraplegics on what they can expect and that they have a new normal to get used to it and work with in the new situation. Since I injured my leg and the surgeries began. Iā€™ve had 20 in the last five years Iā€™ve spent my time mostly in bed except to go to the doctor Even after that the thing Iā€™m ponder the most is how much better my kids life growing up would be had it not been for what happened. I know Maynard is very private and does very few interviews, but I would like to meet him with my son who admires him very greatly. And the two years after my accident, my son grew up from the time he was 80 he spoke like an adult. He listened carefully and was an autodidact (self learner) his level of maturity at 19 amazes me. Iā€™m so proud of both of my kids for being so resilient but I know itā€™s had a great effect on their life. Iā€™ve tried to make a difference, but thereā€™s nothing I can do or say to make up for their childhood.

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Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story with us, there is so much to unpack here and you have gone through so much since that day. I canā€™t even imagine having to hear my children giving you their last goodbyes and feeling powerless to even acknowledge the pain in their words.
I can see through your words how much you love both of them. I have seen someone close to me struggle with survivors guilt and I know that the biggest thing she needed when she was younger was that if someone had shown her that she was allowed to hurt, that her fears and hurt are valid and I believe through the way you have described what your daughter is going through that you have shown her that you see how she struggles and as her father would do anything to wrap her up in your love.
I can see how proud you are of your son too, it sounds like his brain is wired like my sons brain is with not just incredible intelligence understanding Fibonacci and building computers but also a wisdom and emotional maturity that very few possess. Parenting is tough enough as it is, but trying to do it with everything you have described is superhuman. I know though that if you teach your kids that they matter to you, you are proud of them and you love them then you have nailed being a Dad and I believe you absolutely have done that!
Please keep reaching out, I can see how excited you are to meet your granddaughter, just like Marie you have shown your family strength, resilience and love.

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