So today started off with my mom yelling at me to wake up, and is telling me that I’ll be grounded if I don’t wake up on time. Now this is normal, except it was 6:10am. I don’t like it that early, there’s no need that early… anyway I got up and ready, kinda mad about that wake up call. When I was all ready, I sat down with my mom on the couch and tried to talk to her and kinda lighten the mood from earlier except I know my mom’s tones of voice and I was getting that she didn’t care. After me crying and a bit of talking with her, I kinda sorted things out but I can’t help but think, what if my mom stopped caring, she’s the only person that I know that really truly loves me and cares about me. I know that she’s the one person I can turn to when I need help and she’ll be there. But what if all of that went away? Who will I turn to? And truth is, not even my closest friend cares about me the way my mom does… and just thinking of how bad it would feel to actually be hurt by her, all that love just… gone… what if she finally is like everyone else and calls me an attention seeker?? I just… idk how I’d be able to live… and the thoughts have me in tears, it’s all I can think about. I’m in class right now, secretly crying, and just hoping that both today turns out better than the start, and that my mom’s Love will last…
I’m sure her love will last, It sucks your day started poorly though. Maybe she’s working through some stuff on her mind that stressed her out causing her be off this morning.
It will always last.
Hey Miststar,
First I want to say welcome, and that I’m glad you are here. I’m glad that you trusted out, and reached out about what you are going through! That makes you brave and incredibly strong! You are so loved, and important please don’t give up! You are welcome here, and we want to walk along side you through life.
These are some hard things to try to process, and I don’t want to tell you that I’ve been there because I haven’t, but I want you to know that you are loved. And honestly, your mom could have just been having a bad morning and didn’t mean anything bad by it! I really encourage you to try to talk to your mom about it when you get home when you’ve both had some time to cool off and think about it!
I don’t know if you have a cell phone or not, but if you do maybe just text her and be like hey i love you mom I hope you’re having a good day. It’s hard to feel like maybe the love is fading away especially with a parent, but try not to overthink and go to the absolute worse! You are loved, and important!
Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,
Monkey