From Yvette: Today is just rough. I disappointed someone and it triggered me and I want to unalive (I wont tho).
I don’t know how to handle these emotions. They are so strong and I feel so hopeless and lost and in pain I just want it to go away.
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Hey Yvette,
Thank you so much for being here and opening up about how you’re feeling. I’m sorry that there’s this situation that brought up such painful and raw emotions to you. Some emotions are felt so deeply as they echo parts of our story, or are the result of core wounds being reactivated all over again. I hope you make sure sure to breathe as much as you need right now, and make yourself comfortable wherever you are. The pain is present, it is real, but you have the strength and resource within to walk through this and let those emotions fade away progressively. Right now certainly feels like impending doom, but you will make it through.
I’m proud of you for choosing to stay and not hurting yourself in any way. Would you like to share about what happened with this person? Or would that be too difficult at the moment?
Know that you are loved and you matter so very much.
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From Yvette: Thank you for your words Micro they helped a lot.
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From Yvette: With this person I’m feeling pretty anxious when talking them and just in general I’m caught up in self pity and not really thinking straight. I have been more focused on myself and my problems and not so much on doing things I need to do. This person has helped me a lot and I’m feeling awful that I let them down. I think I need to accept that I was at fault tho and need to change what I’m doing but that’s so difficult to do.
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From Yvette: I think I have some trauma with disappointing people and them giving up on me or getting angry with me. So I’m very hard on myself and this has just triggered all that.
Emotionally I feel quite self destructive like I want to punish myself for my mistakes, maybe because I’m anxious how things are with this person and trying to make myself not mess up so I don’t get rejected or anything. It’s not helpful tho. All I need to do is just do the things they asked me to.
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From ManekiNeko: That’s so hard, Yvette. Sometimes we are our own biggest critics and sometimes we really punish ourselves for things that we really should have more grace with.
Disappointing someone can be a big stressor when you’re someone who already heavily critics yourself. I know personally at times it has caused big panic attacks and for me to shut down.
Often others have more grace and kindness for us than we have for ourselves. Would it be possible to reach out to this person at all and explain how you’re feeling or would that be too big of a step at the moment?
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From Yvette: I have tried to reach out and to explain a little but they haven’t replied yet. They’re pretty busy at the moment and don’t normally talk on the weekends.
From Yvette: I know I’m overreacting because of past things. I should probably just try to forget about it till they respond. I’ve done some things that I needed to.
From ManekiNeko: Your feelings are always valid, and if there has been trauma that has led to those feelings being intensified, then that’s also valid
From Yvette: Yeah emotions are icky tho 
I just want them to get off me like ew stop sticking to me and making me upset xd thanks tho for the reminder <:Wisdom:378680703971229696>