Forget about what you “should” do when it comes to things like art. If you don’t feel motivated, the art that you perform will not reflect your talent. Feeling like you “should do” art, instead of doing it because you actually want to, will take the fun out of it.
I don’t think I have ever held a job that I didn’t dream about. When I worked at a chemical plant, I would dream that I forgot to do something, and because of that, some kind of disaster occurred. I worked in a factory for a while, operating what they called a “punch press.” It was a huge machine that punched patterns out of heavy gauge steel. When it operated, it sounded like heavy arms fire, and the floor shook with each press operation, and it produced the sound at a rate of about 90 times per minute. It was loud even when wearing ear protection. I could feel the concussion in my chest. At night, I would dream of operating the damn thing, and my body would twitch in response to the dreamed about noise. Anyway, dreaming about work is very common. It’s not all bad either. Sometimes I dreamed up answers to problems that had me stumped during my waking hours.
Overthinking is no fun. You seem to understand that you can overthink yourself into a state of anxiety. When it comes to making romantic advances, overthinking is practically a universal problem. Considering the intensity of your feelings, it can be an even bigger problem. It might help to realize that you don’t have to push a romantic agenda when you first meet a cute girl. Often, the best approach is to simply say hello, and then move on. If you keep encountering each other, it’s easier to feel more comfortable in talking with her a bit more. Don’t let yourself feel desperate, or that you have to rush. Others can sense that anxious energy, and it discourages interaction.
If you can’t help but overthink, provide some balance to the “what if’s” that you think about. For example, “what if she really wants me to talk to her?” “What if it turns out that we have a lot in common?” “What if things really could work out between us?”
Rejection happens. It’s certainly not fun. Rejection happens to almost everybody more often than not. When you think about it, what is it about rejection that there is to be afraid of? When it comes to human interaction, it’s part of the deal that needs to be accepted.
Rejection absolutely does not mean there’s anything wrong with you. It just means that the other person doesn’t perceive romantic compatibility. If you look around, you might notice that most of the young women you see, don’t trigger a perception of romantic potential. Usually, in a room full of people, there might be one who seems interesting in that way.
Rejections are usually based on appearance, social status, or something else superficial. That’s because they occur before really knowing or understanding the person who is being rejected. So, there’s not a lot of point in taking such rejections personally.
Hang in there my friend!