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Tonight...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Don’t say anything more about it. If you want to talk to me and say goodbye tell me before 1pm pacific american time, 9pm british time. It ends tonight. :slight_smile:

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@anon48571861 Please reconsider. I want you to be here. Please talk with a crisis line

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Hey @anon48571861,

Given what you are sharing, and shared yesterday as well, you are going through a crisis at the moment. It will be important to breathe, to slow down, to stay away from anything harmful as well. During these times, we are not fully able to think clearly or rationally. And when I’m saying this, I’m not implying that you would be stupid or anything like that. I’m just saying that during these times of crisis, we can’t really trust our mind because we are overwhelmed by deep, deep emotions and pressuring thoughts.

So, it’s time to pause. To slow down. Litterally. Mentally and physically. Do things that are soothing for you. Wrap yourself in a soft blanket. Hold your stuffed animals. Play some chilling lo-fi or relaxing music. Create a sense of peace and calm where you are.

I also want to encourage you to use your safety plan as well. You have dedicated your own time to it. Not for it to virtually disappear under a pile of dust, but to be used during the kind of moment you are experiencing right now. This is exactly what is it for, its purpose. So, see this as a friend reminding you of a safe and healthy commitment you have made not so long ago:

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You can do it. I believe in you. We all do. :hrtlegolove:

PS - I hope this will give you a little smile today. This is “Bro” (yes, because it contrasts with the fancy look :p). The stuffed pig I’m used to hold when things are rough lately. Just saying hi. :slight_smile:

Let’s add a bit a softness and comfort in this wild world, right?

And let’s just get through today together.

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Something all of us need to remember.

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I think I actually gave myself tetanus.

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Thinking of you. I hope you’re okay. :hrtlegolove:

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Thinking of you too @anon48571861

Hugs

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When was the last time you had a tetanus shot?

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I don’t know… Over ten years ago I think though…

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Wow, I just looked this up. Seems like a pretty slow gradual thing that causes a lot of physical pain and suffering. Not a lot of people die from it either. Why did you choose this method?

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I found the pole and thought about tetanus, maybe it would kill me, so I looked it up and I’m not sure what happened from there. It’s hard to think, I’m sorry, I’m an worthless idiot sometimes…
Most of the time…

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There isn’t anything to apologize for at all, you’re not an idiot. I know that feeling of being so numb that you are completely empty and alone. I know how hard it is to make healthy choices, trust me.

Next time you’re feelings overwhelm you, take @Micro advice and take out your Safety Plan. You made it for you with a clear mind, listen to yourself. :heart:

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I’m fine now, no more problem, I’m good, no need to worry. :upside_down_face:

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I’m SOOOO proud of you. :heart: :heart: :heart:

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Never mind… I am not okay. I spam stabbed myself with the tetanus pole. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t stay in a safe place here in school. And things are even worse. Because now I’m crying for the second time in 8th grade. The first was forgetting everything I need for school today. And the second was losing it. What will they say. I have to find it fast. They can understand once but twice? I’m screwed. And I’ll probably stab myself soon.

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Hey @anon48571861 how are your wounds? If they are bad they need attention now. It’s okay to cry at school. I’ve cried a lot at school. Please don’t stab yourself again. Is there no way to go to a safe place?

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Hey @anon48571861 ,
It is ok to cry but harming yourself isnt worth it . do you have a trusted adult to talk to? please put the adiment object down or give it to someone . Coming from some one whos almost 4 years clean from SH , harming your body isnt the right thing. PLS continue to seek help like you did here.

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The wounds are fine enough. Probably. I just couldn’t tell anyone. I can’t talk to anyone. It just wouldn’t make sense. In the life I live in if I say anything about this more harm would be done than I could do to myself. Maybe things will be better if I find the thing I lost. I just can’t do it now.

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It’s okay not be able to do it at the moment but please don’t hurt yourself. You can talk to us. I promise you that we won’t do anything to hurt you intentionally.

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why though? is it bc of trust issues?

Letting someone know what is happening will be for the better. Just bc it feels like it may decline , it wont . yeah life happens people make mistakes but at the end of the day we will have our ups and downs. Theres a phrase i like to say … “keep going up to the mountain to be half way through your battle , the other half going down , is still you fighting …” “Just bc you have had a bad day today doesnt mean tomorrow will be a bad day”.

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