I can’t sleep. Every mistake I’ve made in life is playing though my head tonight. I think of the people I hurt in the past and the people who have seen me mentally/emotionally a mess.
I don’t feel like I’m a good person and I’m ashamed of me. With bipolar I don’t know how to trust my own thoughts and emotions half the time…or if what I’m perceiving is real. I feel crazy 
.
I have a hard time connecting with people beyond surface level because I have so many sides to me. I m too much.
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hey @Rosethorn i hear you and i see you . you are loved.
Us as humans we are allowed to make mistakes but we got to learn from our actions, no body is perfect. Im a 20 year old who makes mistakes its part of life . If you dont feel like your a good person what can you do to change that what can you do so your not “ashamed” of yourself. You shouldnt even be ashamed for reaching out because you notice that something isnt right. i may not have bipolar but i know how it is to be in the low with their own thoughts. As in for the truth you are not too much. you are a person who has worth , who has breath in their lungs , and is amazing.
You may be struggling rightnow but things will get better it takes time . and time is patients.
Hold Fast Friend you are loved and you are worth it.
- ashley.
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Hey Rosethorn
I can relate so much to those escalating emotions. The guilt. I’ve spent a lot time cycling on things I’ve done and feeling like a bad lesson. Wishing I could take it all back. Beating myself up over all the mistakes I’ve made. But you know what friend? We can’t control our past. We can only control the now. So while we may have a lot of hurt that we carry from the past that we feel bad about, that is all out of our control now and can’t be undone. So we can only work on how we are now and try to be better moving forward.
I know how hard it is to be Bipolar as I am too, so I can completely relate. I often don’t know how to battle and face my own emotions. I struggle to know how to react and handle what I’m feeling. I feel out of control. It’s hard. But that doesn’t make you a bad person and you shouldn’t be left feeling ashamed of yourself.
But I get it. The hardship of connecting. Me too. But friend you are not alone. We hear you. We see you.
You’re not too much, but I understand feeling that way too because I too often feel like a burden or overwhelming. But I know deep down it’s not true.
It’s a challenge but we can work through this. Being bipolar doesn’t define who we are. Sure it takes effort and patience to learn how to find ways to work through it but you don’t have to do it alone. We care for you here.
I’m glad that you have been able to continue to come here and share you heart. I’m glad that you know here is a safe place and I hope you continue to. 
We are here for you.
Stay strong friend. I know things are hard right now. But know you are loved
hugs
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I can’t tell if what I’m feeling is real or based on stories I’m making up in my head. I’m extremely back and forth with people and don’t know how to cut people out if they have shown they aren’t healthy.
I make extremely bad decisions and I’m afraid to open up to people about them. Or I open up to the wrong people…knowing I don’t really want to further connect with them. I feel like a mess. I’m afraid of hurting anyone else and want to cut everyone out.
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That’s hard friend. Maybe it would help to talk about these things.
What are some things that you feel unsure about/ What are things that you feel are in your head? Who are some people that you are questioning if you should cut out and why? Maybe laying it out could help.
<3