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too much like my life as ADHD/ASpergers. and grief … well we all know it, but i have trouble leaving it behind
The thing about grief is that it’s not something to “get over” or leave behind. It’s something that needs to be taken care of. Grief is like a withering tree, turning shades of brown and dark orange, falling apart, brittle and fragile. It looks like death, it feels like dying… but what it’s really doing is shedding the old and making way for the new. But just like trees, we need time to be still and heal. Don’t feel like you have to rush through your emotions or get rid of them. They need to be felt and heard. As you sit and process the pain, grief slowly but surely becomes love again. Longing for the past becomes gratitude for the memories. The tears might stay, but they slowly become happier and liberating, rather than feeling like they weigh you down.
Thank you for saying something and speaking up! You don’t need to feel like you’re alone in the cold. No matter what season you’re in, you will blossom into spring again! Just take your time, even if the winter feels long and hard, the snow and ice will melt away and bring along new life.
Lots of love, friend 
Thank you so much for reaching out to HeartSupport. Sometimes the biggest step of bravery is the asking for help or telling someone about how we feel. It is commendable that you would share your struggles and grief.
Having that dual diagnosis of ADHD/Asburgers I can imagine brings difficulties to your life others can’t imagine. What is your experience like with that?
Take your time to feel everything you need to feel with your loss. Honoring our pain is the way to incorporate it into our lives. By honoring the loss and holding them in our memory, we can keep them a part of our lives. It can look like choosing intentional times to think of them, or having an area or wall of your house that you keep momentos. Their impact on your life continues into the present day through who they have influenced you to be, and how you focus on the things they brought into your life. Even taking time to talk to them or write to them. You don’t have to leave it behind. You can say to that pain and loss, “thank you for teaching me important lessons,” and now I am carrying everything this person poured into me into everything I do.
For me, this looks like honoring my mom and grandpa’s memories by being the kind of person they would be proud of. By living by the values they instilled in me, I am not leaving them behind but integrating them into who I am. This allows a beautiful tapestry of their history and essence and mine to interweave into something beautiful. Maybe you can do the same. Are there ways you can include parts of the person you’re grieving into your life?
Again, thank you for reaching out to Heartsupport! We are here for you!