I can’t really feel anything anymore and I don’t know what to do about it. Everyone around me just seems so empty. People trying to suffocate the suffering around me. They can’t feel anything either. Even when they do their best to be positive and never have a quiet, real moment and fill the air with noise to drown out the negativity and hatred for living in general. I get sad, because of simple things, if someone else is having a bad day, that can be all it takes to make me feel like everything is useless. I would never kill or hurt myself, but that doesn’t make my pain any less real. It hurts. Sometimes though, every once in a while I think about all the things I would miss if I wasn’t here, just to give me some time to be grateful. Like breathing. Imagine being somewhere and you just… don’t breath, it’s not like you need to breath in that world… but it feels like somethings missing, completely absent, something so important and yet so unappreciated. Just the simple act of continuously breathing is an act that brings me so much comfort. Lately things have been piling up around me, my responsibilities haven’t been getting taken care of. I have a lot of missing assignments which is a problem that I guess I have always had but never really struggled with, because I would take care of any missing assignments right away, but right now I am not taking care of them. I am typing this long meaningless essay for other people that feel empty. I hope it helps someone. I hope that me writing this has meaning to someone and maybe they can feel something from reading how someone else feels. That really doesn’t work for me unless I can really relate to what they are saying, as if it sounds like I could of wrote it myself. I have been going through a lot at home too. And the world around me seems too fast and too slow. Everything feels off. I put the people around me above myself, and maybe that’s why it seems like others are doing so well, because I help them, and even if it doesn’t help them, they have me to talk to. I don’t have that person. I prefer to fix my own problems and handle things myself. I don’t get along with others well, I’d much rather sit in my room by myself and think than have some dope call the idiotic things they say ‘advice’. Perhaps I’m too judgmental, but who cares. Why the hell would I care. I mean honestly, most of the people around me, if they didn’t fuck off, that’s when I’d start to worry.
Hey @idkjvhnnhjgiuf. I’m glad you shared this with us - I think I really feel what you’re saying.
I can’t speak to how things used to be, but it feels to me like nowadays we have more difficulty with addressing our feelings. Maybe that’s a learned response, just because of how readily available distractions are, but no matter the cause, I think that there’s something deeply therapeutic in just letting yourself feel whatever it is that you need to feel. Not just therapeutic, but maybe vitally important. It’s not wrong to feel any which way, I truly believe that these emotions are trying to tell us something important, like they’re smoke signals trying to pull your attention in a specific direction. Sometimes these signals become maladapted and need more work to figure out, and that’s a difficult thing to do, but I think it’s very useful. I’m not sure if this will make sense to you, but I hope it offers some reassurance that you’re okay, no matter what’s going on.
What you said about breathing strangely resonates very deeply with me! Sometimes it feels like that is all I need - just to sit here and pay attention to what it feels like just to breathe, just being here. It’s a real privilege to be able to access this kind of gratefulness - I’m glad to hear it articulated by someone else.
Maybe what you said was a little harsh, but I understand, and I think you know that people can find help in the strangest things. We don’t really get to choose what works for us, so I’m just glad that those people found something to make them feel better.
But, what about you? It seems like things are becoming more overwhelming for you, and maybe we can help. I think that one of clearest pathways to managing what we’re dealing with is in accurate articulation. Putting things into words makes them real, tangible, and so much easier to handle. I’d love to talk about what’s going on in your life in more detail if you’d like, but if you’d prefer to tackle this on your own I understand. In that case I’d recommend typing out your thoughts to yourself - it’s something that helps me immensely. I hope it may bring you peace too
I reallyyyy appreciate your reply:heart: thank you so much… I was really feeling so down and upset and I’m sooo happy someone replied. Idk if you like work for the site or what but I really appreciate how you worded things and stuff:slight_smile: Im not really sure if I’m comfortable expressing my feelings, at least not yet, 17 years and I still can’t so don’t get ur hopes up, not that me telling you my feelings is all that exciting for you:joy: I hope you have a great night/day:)) and thanks again, I didn’t plan on ever visiting the site again but now I for sure will, I did notice that you haven’t made any topics, I could be wrong idk but I’m pretty sure, if you ever want to talk about how you feel I’m ofcc here:heart: We are all going through some tough stuff and even though helping others can be therapeutic I think maybe, possibly, it helps to say how you feel too.
Aww! Thank you for your reply @idkjvhnnhjgiuf! I don’t work for anyone, I’m just some guy. But I’m really glad I was able to help, even for a little bit. Getting through these things takes time, so I’m still around if you wanna talk more.
Hey, that’s okay! Getting to know yourself is a lifelong journey, it never really ends because you never really stop growing and changing. If it’s the kind of thing you think you’d be into, writing to myself most days has been a huge help for me. It’s much safer to type things out to yourself, knowing that it’s only for you. Telling other people is even better because it forces you to make what you have to say broadly understandable, but that’s 100% up to you.
I’m glad you’ll be coming back. That’s such a nice thing to say! One of these days I’ll make a topic, I’m sure. I think I’m slowly putting together what it is that I’m working through in my head, and I know that all of these lovely people will be able to help me when I’m ready to ask for it. Have a great day!