Back to heartsupport

Tough spot to be in


#1

So I only have like 4 irl friends. One of them I haven’t seen in like 3+ months due to us both not having money. I told him how I feel and he told me it’s unfair that I feel that way. I said very gently I fee your drinking is more important than hanging with me. So he shuns my feelings. My other friend had confided in me about his past use of drugs and alcohol and I’m like his only friend and also his support system. He also meets people on reddit and plays video games with them and falls for them. I’ve given him advice on how to avoid it in the future and it falls on deaf ears. I feel like if I was to tell him I need time to work on myself as I have a few other things I’m discovering about myself, and he relapse and start drinking again then it be on me for not being there. It’s hard to be in this spot and I’m not sure how to get away from either as I’m basically a support system.


#2

Hey I hope this doesn’t sound cold but at the end of the day your friends have to make their own disisions. Even if they choose things that are bad for them. It’s great that they have a friend who cares about them! But you have to at some point let go a bit. I used to work in a non profit organisation and they warned us about “impathy fatigue”. You can burn yourself out on other people’s problems. You gotta take care of yourself! Don’t stop loving them and don’t stop telling them the hard truth but take care of yourself! Friendships can be hard but it sounds like you are a good one and that’s all you really can do!


#3

@Bcrit

That’s terrible you are dealing with. However, you are not responsible for their actions. There is a chance they might regret doing them, but who knows. The best thing you can do is to love them. Also, love yourself too. I hope you will feel better. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.


#4

@Bcrit ,
Yeah being there for others when your not your best is hard . Relapse can happen but we can always fight the urge to get better . Just continue to try to be their , if you can’t tell them you need to step away to get better. As someone who’s dealt with mental health and has had issues I recently had to tell my boyfriend I need to step back and I asked for space because I was goin three some heavy crap . And it was stressing me the f out . Stepping to the side and putting everything to the pause is okay just worry about working on yourself then when your better help others . You are your number 1 priority .
:purple_heart:Hold fast! :heart:
-Ashley


#5

It’s tough spot to be in, unfortunately a lot people make poor decisions. Also, the thing of drinking it get very addictiving and it can easy become a bad habit. So, it hard because you want the best for your friends, and it heartbreaking to see them go down hill. Their some stuff in life you don’t have control over, especially when come to other people.

Also, I know it hard to make friends, may not bad to example go to shows or something fun to meet new people. With money being issue sometime you just go for a walk in park or just chill watch a movie, with friends.

It’s also it okay to be happy if being alone, I’m kinda sane situation where I’m 28 with no girlfriend and only a couple of friends, I do jam with a band, but super close with them, but at end you should alway try be happy with self and do the best you can, remember you only do so much for other and you gotta let live their lives. I’m addition try find people that into heavy drinking, you don’t want be around people that are only get down, no one deserves that. Try to feel better