Toxic friends, Loneliness, and pain

Before I dive in i want to say thanks to @MentallyillGamer and @MorganVinHoch for their helpful replies on my last vent/topic. And if someone else has I must not have seen your response but thanks anyways. Ok so there’s an old “friend” of mine from last year who I guess I never realized was so neroutic and toxic she could treat someone who she would call a friend like this. Everything was going alright until everything started to become one sided. In our friend group we always helped each other out with what we struggled with and last year it was miserable for me and my social anxiety. It started to get to the point where I was getting isolated in the group when we let in people who used to be friends with us. These people were toxic and used us but every one except me seemed to forget this. These people never apologized to us or at least me. This all became worse with my crippling social anxiety set in and she stopped caring after this. I felt so alone and the audacity to block me multiple times beacause I was “clingy”. I understand that last year my social anxiety could cause me to be act clingy towards my friends but this time it was just because I was asking if we could hang out this past summer since I was homeschooling this year and I wouldn’t get to see my friends. Never once did she tell me that I was acting out of place beforehand even if I was acting that way. She later unblocked me and we began to talk weekly. I thought everything was better. Soon after this she blocks me again cursing me out and calling me a poser because apparently I thought terms such as “emo” and “scene” were the same thing (and a pet peeve i also have with her is she calls pop punk music heavy metal and i don’t have anything against pop punk I love both genres but it’s like at least get your genres right if your gonna get mad at me over “emo” sheesh) soon I thought we reconciled over text but I was so wrong. I should have known. Three days after this i just messaged her what’s up and I get blocked again. At this point I understand that she has been toxic all this time. It’s just she sadly was one of my last few friends and of the two I have left I rarely get to see and one told me on an Instagram live stream I looked really depressed and never once asked me if I was ok. Unless I forgot he said something along with that asking if I was okay then that’s just really sad. I really don’t have many friends left right now. I am positive and thankful for at least a couple and online friends. it’s just right now it’s so hard to get through. Everythings so bleak now and I’m trying to break away from this anger and isolation I have. Prayer, Scripture, Heavy metal and boxing all help. I just dont understand why it feels like the people who I thought cared about me and i called friends once would treat me like this. On top of this I know I should forgive her if she apologizes I just dont feel like I can right now. Please pray.

Hi @Walkerburnsred

I’m sorry that you are enduring this and that they did that to you. You may not like me saying this but since they are treating you like this you might be better off without them and might be best to find friends in other people. Also, for her to get upset with you about “Emo” and “Scene” is ridiculous, maybe you honestly didn’t know and were just asking. How long have you been boxing? Boxing, martial arts and wrestling are awesome ways to cope with things and if anything just to have an outlet. Ever think about talking or hanging out with anyone you box with? Just know that things do get better. Maybe not right away but they do, I’ve been and to say it sucks would be an understatement but keep your head up and know that you matter and that people do care about you. Stay strong and keep fighting.

You’ll gain friends that do care for you. I believe this. You already have friends that do & support from me.

The reason people treat others like this is because these people are using people for their own means. They don’t care because they’re just tools to help them cope with their own selves until they can replace these tools with something/someone they actually desire. (It’s disgusting.)

I’m sorry you went through this cause I’ve been through this. Move on you shouldn’t be anybody’s tool/placeholder. You’re a human being and you’re worth being treated like one.