Toxic old friends controlling my life

An old friend came to visit me yesterday. I wouldn’t have given a shit but they did something innapropriate and controlling. I thought maybe they u derstood, and they grew as well, but they didn’t. The next day I went to work and my boss kept asking if I was okay, then she gave me a hug. Later out if the blue she asked if i had a girlfriend, and suddenly things started clicking. She had the fucking audacity to go to my work and tell everyone about what happened to me, because SHE thinks I’ll never get better. AND IM SO MUCH BETTER. She doesn’t realize that when u tell someone over and over they won’t get better when THEY ARE VERY VERY CLEARLY GETTING BETTER, you’re turning all that around. You’re taking everything that they built themselves up to be and tearing it back down, like a cancer trying to kill you, remind you it’s there. I hate this cancer, and I’m tired of it trying to control me, I’m tired of people trying to tell me who I am. I’m fucking happy, and It want you to fuck off and let me be happy. The only way to grow is the see yourself, and you can’t see yourself when others are trying to make you see yourself. I KNOW WHO I AM SO FUCK OFF. I told her where u worked because I trusted her to leave me be, but instead she is going out and telling my fucking boss about my situation. Even the angry guy was nice to me. It freaks me out. Just treat me like a normal fucking human being, don’t treat me like I’m special, don’t treat me like there’s something wrong with me. Don’t treat me like shit, and don’t shower me with fucking kindness. Just fuck off. Even if there are ppl that I tend to like, I don’t want them to be nice to me out of pity, if the only reason they want to get to know me is bc of my fucking past, they can very well piss off. This is my life. Stay out of it.
X

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Hello: I’m going through a similar situation that you are; you’re not alone. With me, however, the things reported about me were completely false and hurtful, and they led into a safeguarding case that was completely unnecessary, which has now led to my crippling stress and depression. It’s horrible to be backstabed by someone you thought you trusted, and I hope things will get better for you :slight_smile:

Furthermore, things were getting better for me, until they critised me for being upset the other day- I just hope that you can escape the toxic freindship, unlike how I am trapped in it.

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I understand much of what you’re saying when you talk about people trying to tear you down and believing that you will never get better. In my situation I lived in active addiction for years, once I finally decided I was going to get clean, I had nobody. My friends laughed it off and was waiting for me to fail, anticipating my downfall. Once I became clean they still would say things like “yeah we will see how long this last or just wait it won’t last long”. In my situation I found that I had to search myself and find out what I was willing to tolerate or let into my life. I made boundaries and if someone wasn’t willing to respect them then I would have to change my relationship status with them or leave them out entirely. I know sometimes it’s difficult to end friendships, but you have to put yourself and mental health first.

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That’s the thing though, this person is not my friend anymore. I haven’t talked to them in a year, and they think they have the fucking audacity to go and control my life.

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That’s what worries me, I feel like everyone talks shit behind my back and treats me as if in some kind of ticking time bomb. I’m tired of people trying to control my life, that’s why I cut then out, I jsut thought she realize it by now, but I guess she hasn’t. I can tell the signs when someone starts learning shit about me behind my back. They drop little jokes and see if I catch on, or they act different around me. I think it’s time for me to quit my job and find somewhere else to work. This is why I wanted to be invisible in the first place.

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If you no longer feel comfortable working at your job or with your coworkers then I understand searching for another job. Maybe there is some kind of legal help you can get, maybe a no contact or restraining order.

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That is a little much, i would but she only did this suddenly we havent talked in a year bc she decided to stop being my friend, but i need ti be left alone. Goddamnit

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What she did is very extreme just because she wanted to terminate a friendship. It sounds more like attempted sabotage of your social life: if this can’t be resolved democratically, consider what DLM said.

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My mother says she can’t imagine my friend doing something so bold, or why she would even do it. How do ik if this is all in my head or not. God… in going insane wondering. I just want everyone else to front but when bad things happen I tend to be the one who fronts and blocks everyone out.

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If it wasn’t her I could be someone else. A stalker. I’m terrified

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