I found out last week that I only have two or three sessions left with my current counselor. I’m kind of in between with how I feel about it. I think it could be helpful because I have been stuck for a while now and even though I was making progress I still wasn’t open to trying new things and couldn’t stick to things. My main worry is it took me since oct till a few weeks ago to actually let my counselor into hard places. I haven’t even let counselors in that I’ve had for years to that place. I don’t do well with change and I’m really worried my walls will go back up. I’m really hoping that we will have a bond and it won’t take along time to get back into the swing of things, that it won’t be starting over so much as maybe moving forward. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to transition easier and not put my walls back up?
Transitioning to a new counselor is always really hard. And often takes a lot of patience. As it can take a few weeks to adjust and get to know the new one. And sometimes it doesn’t work out and you have to try another.
I don’t have a lot of advice other than just go in and just do your best to be open and honest. Share where you are struggling so that they can help you over come the things you’ve been struggling with, with your current counselor. Be honest in what you need and are looking for. And if after a few weeks, if you aren’t feeling it, don’t be afraid to request a new counselor.
I know the emotional and mental stress of changing therapists. Been there. I hate having to start over and rehash out things. It’s definitely exhausting. But it can be worth it in the long run if you can find one you really like and connect with.
Is there a reason you can’t just stick with the counselor you have now?
I wish you the best of luck on your journey into a new therapist
Thank you this is really good advice. I wrote out some questions I have and what I want to say in the first session. My counselor and I are going to talk about it and find one that will fit. He was an intern and is finishing the program. He can’t counselor for awhile after he finishes for some reason but also since he will be on staff his rates will go up and I can’t afford anything else right now. I’m hoping it will be even better. He has helped me a lot but I’m still getting stuck in the same areas still shutting down in counseling and having a hard time trying the things he says. It’s easier said than done. Trying to see it in a positive light and remind myself I don’t have to put those walls back up nor do I have to connect right away with the new one. Just trying to stay curious to the whole situation but it’s definitely still stressful since I have quite a few changes going on right now. The good thing also is I do like him but I don’t feel like I’m over attached which is good because in the past I did not take changing counselors well at all. I already feel like I’m in a better spot going into it but it’s still hard.
I suggest looking into a directory and ask if they take your insurance and look at their credentials and see if you feel that you are a good match.
The place I’m at has a few I can choose from which is ready helpful. That takes some of the pressure off. It’s more just starting over with someone new and letting them into that space.
I have a lot of experiance switching counselors and therapists and I know it’s not always easy. I’m generally a pretty open person and being that way does make things a little easier but you can take as long as you need to open up. If you’re comfortable with doing so it may help to ask your old counselor to send your files to your new one (Idk if they automatically do that where you live but you usually have to request it here where I live) having those files may help your new counselor gain an understanding of what you’ve gone through and what is and isn’t easy for you to talk about. I find the best thing you can do with a new counselor is just be honest, if a topic makes you uncomfortable or you’re not ready to talk about something just say so. Also spending the first couple sessions just getting to know eachother can also help alot with being able to open up later. Talk about things you like to do like hobbies and stuff and also explain to them what methods of coping have worked well for you with past counselors, what methods didn’t work and what ones you liked and hated, this helps them kind of gauge where to go from there and what your next steps shoud be. I find that the more they know about you as a person like your personality and your likes and dislikes the easier it is to come up with things that work for you specifically rather than them just trying what works with everyone else.
I hope this helped and I hope you click with your new counselor and that they are able to give you exactly what you need. Good Luck!
You’re Stronger Than You Know
Thank you this is really helpful. I think what I need to realize is there isn’t a rush. Lately, I have been feeling like there is this rush to get better faster, to give up unhealthy coping skills. I need to remind myself I’m working on it already and I’m not in a dangerous place right now. That I will continue to push forward when I’m ready and forcing it won’t work. That just because I’m starting with someone new doesn’t mean all the progress I’ve made is lost. Thank you. This really helped.
No problem! I’m happy it helped! And you are right there is no “appropriate amount of time” for a person to get better, everyone heals and moves on at their own pace and it’s ok if it takes a little longer than you wanted or expected it to there is no rush. As long as you’re safe, happy and healthy or even just working towards being those things that’s all that matters! ️
Hello there @Fashionlover0191 ! I have had the same thing happen with me with having the change counselors. A few years ago i had this one great counselor that i had a great bond with. We had fun together, we laughed a lot, and she was able to connect with me and help me open up. After about a year of service with her, she informed me that she was transferring somewhere else. I was heartbroken and i cried my eyes out. She was sorry and she gave me a gift for me to remember her. A month later my mother took me to see a new counselor and i did struggle getting used to her. She understood my views and my issues and she listened to me. We have a bong with each other and even though it was painful having to switch counselors i was able to make it. The best advice I can personally give you is to try to find things that you both have in common. Start with some little things that bother you and then as you gain their trust, try to move up to bigger things. If you don’t feel like it will work out with that counselor over some time then I would talk to them about how you feel about them being your counselor our and see if there is anything they can improve on, or see if they can schedule you for a different one. I wish the best of luck to you!
Thank you really appreciate it. I am really hoping it will go well. Honestly my anxiety towards it’s hasn’t been as high which is huge. I think that’s kind of what’s scaring me more is I’m not too worried about it which is different for me but trying to see it as a good thing and not allow my mind to run towards negative things. I’ve transitioned quite a few times in the last few years and have gotten to a place where it’s much easier for me to let go of ones that don’t help. I think my main fear is just putting my walls back up and running the progress I’ve made. I think the thing that is helping the most is it will still be someone at the same place so it’s not completely unknown, will know the process and the rooms. Just got to take it a day at a time and remind myself they are there to help and stay curious with whatever emotions come up. Thanks again
Oh! Okay, that makes sense. An intern, gotchya!
Well, it seems like you are really trying to look at this in a positive perspective and that’s really good. It is very challenging as I said before to change from one counselor to the next, but I hope that this next one will be a really good fit for you and continue to be a positive force in your journey to healing and self discovery.
And as always, we are always here to offer a kind word and support