So two weeks ago I went back into over the road truck driving. For the most part I really love it, traveling all over the USA is amazing. Tuesday though I had an experience I guess. There was an accident where I was, and I had to drive by and the gentleman involved was killed. He was on the side of the road. Just laying there. That’s a lot to just say I know I’m sorry if that’s triggering to anyone else but I guess I’m wondering how do people deal with seeing that. I’ve seen multiple accidents, the better part of ten years I’ve been a over the road driver, but the most part the only thing I’ve seen was maybe a body bag. I’ve never seen the things I saw this week first hand. Truthfully I thought it didn’t bother me, but tonight now that I’m home for my time off and it being the holidays it’s kind of getting to me. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. So idk first responders, military veterans, how do you do it? I guess I’ve never really seriously thought about mortality, and in reality how fast it can be over. I don’t even really know exactly what my brains thinking other than overwhelmed with thought. I don’t know if I’ll forget that sight ever, so what do you do? Do you just bottle it up? Do you scream? In the trucking industry if I say anything I’ll probably just be called a sissy im sure, but right before Christmas and his life just ended in front of everyone, and his body was there just there in the road. It just has me feeling sick almost and just sad
Im truly sorry to hear of this experience. I’ve found that trying to get rid of these feelings only makes them more intense. What I would suggest is to try and accept the image for what it is, just an image. One of the exercises that has helped me is to:
- Imagine the image (you may become uncomfortable at first)
- See where its located, in front of me? Does it take the whole space?
- Stretch the image out, change some of the colors, add a picture frame, scale it up or down. try to manipulate it
Hopefully it works for you. The image and your uncomfortable feelings wont go away immediately(this is not the end goal), but you will become less disturbed by them and be able to enjoy the things you like. In time, these will fade away naturally.
I wish you a good holyday!
I wish you peace friend. I have much love and respect for you and hope that you are able to deal with this trauma as comfortably as possible. It is hard to talk about these things, and you’ve already accomplished that. You are already on a good path! I wish I could offer some wisdom and advice that could ease your pain but pain takes time to heal. Just know we are all here for you! And you are loved!
Hi @Donavand Seeing something so graphic causes a lot of trauma and sometimes it helps to talk to someone like a therapist who can give you coping skills. Talking about it to anyone in your life could help. Accepting your emotions instead of fighting them is helpful as well. I hope you find peace. ~Mystrose
hey donavand, thank you for sharing this experience with your heartsupport community. this was a very traumatic experience for you and i’m sorry you had to witness this on your drive. life truly is precious… with how quick it can all be taken away, it makes me thankful and appreciative towards everything. i encourage you to absorb the shock of seeing this, processing it all in a healthy way, turning it all into a new way of thinking, loving, and appreciating. please feel open to posting more about it if you need to write more of your feelings out - it helps so much to write out our feelings rather than bottle it up. sending you and the family of the accident victim all my love and best wishes for a calm new year. love, twix
Hey Friend, Thank you so much for your post I am so incredibly sorry that, that happened to you. That is one heck of a traumatic experience and one that is likely to stay with you for a while sadly. In my experience and I can only speak from someone who has had dealings with people that have passed but not from accidents but from old age or illness, the best thing you can do is to talk about it as much as possible to anyone who will listen really as you have done here. Get the thoughts, the visions, the memories all of it out of your head and on to a screen or to other people. Its understandable that you are going to be affected for a while, long term if you still fine you are having problems you may want to speak to someone on a deeper level but give youself time to recover. Please dont bottle it up and dont let anyone make you feel bad for caring. Thank you for being a wonder human being with feelings. Much Love Lisa x
Possible TW: Death
I am so proud of you for reaching out to the HS community & allowing us to come alongside you to support you. I encourage you to continue leaning on us to support you. You can talk through all of the emotions and whatnot that you need to process. What I gather after reading your post, you weren’t prepared for something like this & that is something that’s very valid. All of your feelings are valid & completely understandable.
When my dad passed away, that was the first time I saw someone that I love pass away & it was a lot for me to process. I cried when he passed away, but the next day I went into “what do I have to do now?” kind of mode. I had to help my mom with his service. I had to help get family members places to stay and how they were going to get around town. The list went on and on. I was very numb & didn’t have much emotion that next full week. Then, at the memorial service…I broke down & cried the rest of the day off and on.
Grief. Death. Loss. We all experience them and handle them in different ways. There is not a copy-and-paste way for everyone to go through all of those feelings. When my mom and myself decided that it was time to pass on, I screamed. I screamed so much my whole body shook and my lungs ached. I cried harder than I ever did before. I had moments where I just sat in a chair, didn’t say anything to anyone for hours. I had moments when I just supported my mom and did what I needed to do. Don’t worry about handling this the “correct” way.
You are loved. You are valid. You are strong. You are wonderful.