I was feeling uneasy as I was driving to work and thinking about how pathetic my life is how it may not get better and how I always get extremely depressed when I go to work.
I made it to work. I still felt the same I asked the higher ups to clock me in since I wasn’t scheduled and they said I had to wait until it was 11:00. It was 10:51 when I got there and as seconds went by I felt worse and wasn’t sure if I should stay and bare with it for a dew hours or go home. I went home but I was crying as I was walking to the car and trying to reach out for peers for help and contacting a crisis hotline but I am still on hold for in line I eventually went hoke but it took me over 20 minutes to do so. I am sad that I have no one to reach out too and feel like I don’t have any way out.
I’m really sorry that you’ve been feeling so depressed lately. Your life is not pathetic, friend. It sounds that you’re going through a rough time and your job is stressing you right now. It’s not your fault if it gets hard for you to get there and work. As much as it can be very tempting to blame yourself for what you’re experiencing, know that feeling this stress and exhaustion is more common than we imagine sometimes. It’s already really good that you manage to put some words on it and identify what’s causing you to be depressed.
As it sounds that you’re emotionally tired right now, do you think it would be possible for you to see a doctor and talk about it? Maybe to see if you could be on medical leave, even just for a couple of days? It’s okay to get a break in order to rest when you need it. It wouldn’t make you weak, pathetic or unable to do what you want. Right now, it seems that a priority would be to get some well-deserved rest. It could be an opportunity for you to take some time for yourself and think about what you might need to keep moving on - extra-support? something new in your life to add some excitement/motivation? life/career path changes? Though if those questions are a little scary and overwhelming right now, then it doesn’t have to be considered immediately. Again, the first priority right now is your well-being.
You are not alone, friend. You always have this community to stand by your side. I know it’s not the same as having someone physically there with you, but the care and love that’s available for you here is genuine and real. If you can, let us know how you’re doing since you posted. <3
I hear you. A career change is a huge decision, but it’s good to know already that you’ve been considering it. It can be done carefully, with proper resources and preparation that could help you make this transition safe, financially speaking. Do you have any idea already of what you’d like to try?