Hi, so for like future help, also for rn, how do you keep someone from committing suicide? Ik it’s their choice in the end, but is there a way to stop them? Is there a way to help them and not have to cut them off? Or do you just have to let them go, for fear of more PTSD. What exactly do I do?
Hi! Unfortunately it feels we all have been in this position before. I have been there many times ( I halfway have a suicidal friend I worry for again oof.) but please please make sure if you believe they are going to take their life… that you tell someone. Yes it may hurt their feelings in the present. You would however want them alive rather than dead. I know that is blunt but it is totally true. In the future they probably would look back and be grateful that you stopped them. Other things you can do are just be caring, listen to their struggle, give them music recommendations so they have things to relate to. My friend I am working on helping right now I am going to send her a care package and a self harm recovery book : ) please keep us updated!! Also… heaven forbid it comes to this but if they do take their life please do not feel it is your fault. Be kind to yourself as well.
There is no generalized formula for talking someone out of suicide. However, if you listen carefully to them, they usually feel comforted. Sometimes, just being compassionate, fully present with the person, and listen with your heart, their depression and feeling of urgency to end it all is greatly reduced and sometimes eliminated.
How to deal with a suicidal person, takes both experience and sensitivity, along with compassionate strength. Empathy is helpful, but you cannot pull a person out of a pit of despair, by joining them in the pit. Sometimes, a person’s state of mind makes it impossible to reach them with any kind of comforting words.
Yes, if possible, notify someone who can help, probably a professional, or in some cases a member of the clergy.
As far as what to say to a suicidal individual, it all depends on the situation. Some people are actually looking for advice and answers, others believe that none exists. I have at times said “please don’t, I’d like you to hang around.” I have asked, “what have you got to lose, if you stick out for another couple weeks?” The act of caring, even if the right words are not chosen, often do a world of good.
hey there @Systemofconfusion ,
this is a hard one but the best we can do is convince them let them know they are loved and they are worth living . But them letting you know is a huge trust step. Letting peple know is one step forward … I hope everything is alright for you and the person(s).
Ya’ll are loved , Yall are awesome
Hold fast You’re worth it!
It really depends on the situation and what is the state of mind of the person at the moment. If you want to support someone who is dealing with suicidal thoughts, a first step on your end could be to educate yourself about passive and active suicidal ideation. Suicide is a thought process and there are indeed many ways to support someone you love through all of this. That way, you could try to identify, with the help of the person, what help they need at the moment. If you know someone who is in immediate danger though, give them crisis lines informations from your country, eventually call the emergency services to send them to their home.
Ultimately as our friends said here: listening and understanding is what you can provide the most. Suicidal thoughts flourish in silence and isolation. It’s a secret someone keeps, and talking about it is the very first way for them to empower themselves and push those thoughts back. If someone trusts you to talk about it, you can listen, ask them questions without being intrusive, and without falling in the trap of believing that this subject has to remain taboo. The second thing you can absolutely do is to provide resources and to encourage them to use them. Though if on your end you don’t feel safe to talk about those things, if it puts you in a place of danger, it’s important to protect yourself as well and to accept to step away. It can be done in a loving and safe way, again by letting them know that you care about them, by sharing useful resources, but also by being honest about the fact that you are not in a good position to listen at the moment.
If the conversation allows it, let them know they are heard, seen, loved, cared for, needed. They might tell you that it’s not true and question everything you say, which is okay. Just make sure it doesn’t turn into a debate to know who is right or wrong. Keep the conversation calm, understanding, non judging. What matters is to share some truth to them when their mind are pushing them to be stuck with a tunnel vision about their life.
If you know someone who is suicidal, you can also encourage them to post here on the Support Wall. They would be heard and only welcomed with a huge amount of love.
I can’t do any of that bc I only know them online. I ended up blocking them bc no matter how I try to help they don’t listen, bc in the end it’s their choice. They decided not to die but do other stupid things. I had to block them bc I can’t be sourrounded by negative things anymore, it only drags me down with them, they may say “why did you abandon me?” But I have no choice if I want to continue my life as well.
If you try to listen carefully you are empathizing with them and letting them drag you into the pit with them. I want to help people but ig I’m not strong enough.
I’ve been through suicidal ideations and attempts before. What sucks is I didn’t go through it with support, I went through it by myself, so the only way I know how to genuinely help is to just let them take their path, hit rock bottom, and they will find their way up from there. They have been provided with support forums and crisis lines, but they abandoned them, so in the end this is their choice. They can get help if they wanted to but they choose not to. I wish I knew how to help in other ways, but I’m powerless in that part of helping people.
Oh I see. Thank you for explaining a little more! It’s okay if you can’t support them more though. We all have our own limits, and it’s a real strength to be aware of it. We can’t be everything for everyone, and sometimes the best we can do is to just redirect to someone else or to a different place.
And thats okay, if you have offered help & they have other recourses available to them please dont let their weight drag you down. Do not feel guilty blocking either. In the end it absolutely is up to them to get help & go up from rock bottom. It may be sad but you cannot help fill someone else’s cup if your own is empty. Please take care
Is it an issue of strength, or of confidence? Actually, the kind of confidence needed to consistently deal with suicidal people, is quite rare. It’s a common belief, that empathy will cause a person to absorb another’s pain. Yet it’s possible, to feel love, rather than the sufferers pain.
I think, if thoughtfully expressed, it’s okay to let the other person know that you are not feeling strong enough to provide the support they need. You can still let them know that you care, and hopefully convince them to seek help from someone who is used to dealing with these issues.
I was looking for this answer too. Not for so long ago, I tried to help someone who is suicidal. I sent them numbers to hotlines I even told them to post here but I think they didn’t do it. I also know them just online, first time when I talked to them was then when they posted about it. And I saw it, after that I wasn’t sure if I did well because I felt so scared and overwhelmed. And usually I don’t talk too much online. It hurted me to not try to help them. I felt so much weight… Then I found that they had others supportive people and this gave me some peace knowing that others were helping. Later they admitted that they will stay alive. This affirmation really calmed me even if they might didn’t mean it. But I think they did, because they said they’re doing their best by trying. And they seek professional help, which I’m happy they do. I still check up on them, and they seem a little better now. I told them that if they need someone to listen to them I’m there even if sometimes it might happen not to have the energy to talk too much. Now, I’m not sure for how long should I check up on them…but I’m praying for them
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