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Trouble Validating Myself

I’ve been doing much better since the past several weeks I’ve been working with a domestic abuse counselor. She is the first therapist to understand what I am going through. We are working on validating myself because it is something I haven’t been able to do because of my abusers (Father sometimes Mother). They invalidate me being invalidated.
Unfortunately because of the corona virus I wasn’t able to see her this week (I think that’s why I’m writing this post). I wish I could trust myself more but still need help with that. My case manager for the program I am in doesn’t understand and just thinks I need tough love (feeling emotionally drained and slept in sometimes this week. It really aggravates/pisses him off).I have a very hard time explaining to him what I am going through and struggle with (Dont feel validated to say how I feel). He just thinks i need tough love. I’m thinking about having my counselor talk to him.

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Well I’m glad that you have been able to see someone and starting to work through that process of healing! That’s a really great thing! But, I’m sorry that this virus is literally putting a pause on life right now. It’s pretty rough. ):

Despite the fact you are having a hard time, I always see you commenting on the wall and offering others kind words and encouragement. I see you over there. Kind friend. <3 And I appreciate that you are here spreading the love even when you are struggling.

Do you think that maybe now would be a good time to take advantage of the BetterHelp online counseling 7 day free trial? You can text or set up a voice chat with a counselor. Maybe this could be good for you? https://www.betterhelp.com/heartsupport

Sorry that your case manager isn’t very understanding. That’s pretty annoying. I’m not always very good at explaining myself either and often leads to miss understanding. So I can relate to that. It’s frustrating. Maybe you’re idea of having your counselor talk to him isn’t such a bad idea. Can you email here about the idea and get her thoughts on that?

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Thank you for providing that link. I haven’t done online counseling before but I’m sure it’s worth a shot.
Unfortunately I don’t have a solid source of income. Or a card to put on file at the moment (should be here in a couple weeks). But if you know any that dont charge that would be helpful. If not, its okay.

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Its different. But when I lost my insurance I tried it. And honestly it was nice just having a space I could text at whenever I wanted. And have that option to set up a voice chat. It even has the option to VOICE text if you want. I can’t remember if you had to be on a browser in order to do that. But yea, you can use BetterHelp on mobile or browser. It was nice for me when I had nothing else at the time.

<3

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From: r0xiz

It is hard when people don’t understand you and your feelings. The trauma that you have experienced is making it all the more difficult for you. Do ever feel like you are experiencing dissociation? Ask your therapist about this.

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I’ve never been through domestic violence as such, but I understand this. My anxiety and my depression eats at me every time I see someone who claims they love me and want to support me is ignoring me, but helping other people and talking to other people… It’s like… ok, do I just not matter? Don’t you care anymore? Me and one of my friends have spoken about this A LOT, so he knows first hand how badly this effects me… Even though I know he loves me, and he cares, that anxiety can still completely take over. I hope that you can find a way to be able to communicate and make this better <3

Hold Fast
Kayla

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Hey @Cp2231 We discussed your topic on the HeartSupport Twtich stream today. Here’s the live video response!
Hold Fast

(Sorry for the technical cut half way through, I forgot to edit it out >.> )

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That’s awesome. I’ll watch it now. I’m new to twitch so this will be interesting.

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These guys provided more care and insight in that video than anyone has in the past 10 hellish years of my life. I am so very grateful for you guys taking the time to listen and provide this video.
I feel as if I’m always bending over backwards to put myself in others shoes but the same has not been done for me.
I will definitely have my counselor talk to my case manager because he clearly does not understand. I once again tried to explain how I felt this morning and I got a simple reply “Oh, your just in your own head.” Then he kind of shrugged it off. I kind of think he’s a douche who tries to be “Alpha” but maybe it’s just me (always talking about how he gets girls…last thing on my mind right now…love and respect women but I need to take care of myself right now)
He was really mad that I didnt text him back on time yesterday because I slept in because the program was closed so I thought itd be okay to sleep in. I could hear it in his voice. Sorry it’s just frustrating like I said.

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My case manager wants me to wake up early on Monday to get my meds. I understand he wants me to be punctual but I know its going to be very hard since I always feel drained. I told my domestic abuse counselor to talk to him but I feel very aggravated that he keeps telling me I need tough love.
He keeps trying to text me during the day to make sure I’m awake. Idk I’m just frustrated. He thinks I am using trauma as an excuse.

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