In the past year, I have been so many times down and I have cried so much, the sad part that those emotion I couldnt keep my emotions and people show me so many times crying,I have tell people close to me what was making sad,over and over. And now that all those people left me and one of them is giving me a silent treatment, I feel bad, sad, I dont want to go to class but I still go and when I enter the class I try to be happy and funny and try to listen to the teacher. Because I know if I show my emotions again, people will think that I am looking for attention, that I am negative, that they hate me and etc… Sometimes I wished that I could have controlled my emotions back then and maybe things would be better with those people now…
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If people would say that you look for attention because you cry, then it would just show that they should try to understand before judging. We all do that, judging. But sometimes it’s damaging, just like it makes you hide your feelings. It’s okay not to be okay. There is a lot of shame in our societies around crying, being sad. But we all experience sadness sometimes. You have reasons to feel how you feel. And controlling your emotions wouldn’t be healthy for you nor for anyone.
I understand what it feels to wear a mask like this. When I have to talk about how I feel in front of someone, I just can’t. I grew up in a family where we didn’t really have the right to express our emotions or, at least, negative ones. We weren’t used to talk about important things. So with my siblings, as kids, we kinda had to cry in silence and hide ourselves when we weren’t okay. Which is not fair. Because it adds more pain and you start to think that your emotions aren’t valid, that you don’t have the right to feel how you feel.
Your feelings are valid. I’m sorry to hear that those people left you, and I remember what you shared about this person who’s currently ignoring you. Just know that you can always come here to express whatever you want. If you don’t feel like you have a safe place to express your emotions and be honest IRL, then this community can always be that place for you. Have you ever joined the HS Discord btw? It would be awesome to see you there. Feel free to come: https://discord.gg/PBYZrm
Hold fast. 
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We all have our moments where we become emotional and it is difficult to control them. If people have to judge you for it then that is on them. It’s easy to sit back and judge especially when we haven’t been in that other person’s shoes. It sucks that we have to put on a mask to appear that everything is fine when it’s not. You are not attention seeking by any means. You have a lot going on and are trying to get through it. If your friend is giving you the silent treatment then don’t stress over them they are not worth the added stress. I want you to know that you can always say whatever you need to here on Heartsupport because there is always going to be someone that truly cares and will listen to you. Keep hanging in there.
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Really thanks for your words, Is really so hard trying to put a mask so I hope that one day that wont be a mask anymore. In my family my parent almost all the time dont show up when they are sad and is really sad that to happen in this society.
Is so hard to see their faces in class especially the one that is ignoring me but I hope that one day I wont care anymore. Really thanks 
And now I am in discord so thank for the invitation
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The sad thing that I have been like that for around a year and people deserve better so I hope that one day that mask will be gone.
The hard part is that ex friend even the silent treatment I care about her and is hurting me that we arent talking anymore, I hope that one day I wont care for her anymore.
Thanks really for your words and time 
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