Trying to cope the best i can

So Al ittle back story i’ve known this person for a year or so … Shes my Step moms Aunt. well technically my dads girlfriends aunt because my dad and his girlfriend arent even married or engage. But thats not the point. Yesterday the aunt passed away peacefully. I just got the news today . I tried to be the best support but rightnow it is hitting me the best. When i went to go support her i just felt emptyness in the house . I feel the pain and when a few guests came over they started talking about it , well small amount and it changed my moods where i tried to not loose my cool, i tried to fake a smile yet it worked … Now Realizing shes gone i feel like my suicidal thoughts is happening . I feel like i dont want to be alive , i feel like i dont want to be breathing . Whats my point here anyways. Aren’t we just going to all die at one point? So why am i still here. I’m sorry im hitting a low when ive been my best . I’m sorry.

Feeling emptiness is a part of the grieving process. The point of you being here is that you are meant to use the process you are going through to connect with other people. There are many people out there who have gone through the same events you are. You can connect with other people by understanding exactly how they feel.

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thanks @pma22 i really appreciate it

No problem we’re all here if you need to reach out

So alittle update : I am feeling better but going back to my dads girlfriends house later and i dont want to … I feel like im just gonna feel depressed again . I know how to stay strong i know how to fake a smile but i feel like faking a smile is the best i can do . :confused: