I’m feeling really depressed lately. I’ve reacted to a friend in a way that hurt them and I knew was a bad reaction on my end, but I couldn’t control it. I’m worried I am going to push my friend away if I keep behaving this way.
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Man, I’m sorry you’ve been in this position. It’s not always easy to find the right words or have the right reaction. Sometimes there’s a lot of different emotions involved. Sometimes we’re just not in the right mood to discuss. And we can’t always guess how the other person would react. I know it hurts to feel like you’re losing someone. I’ve been in that position recently, for objectively no wrong reason, but tensions can happen and sometimes we can’t help it, even with the best intentions.
I don’t know what was this reaction that you had, precisely, but I hope there’s still a possibility for both of you to discuss. If your friend has set some boundaries, you’ll certainly need to respect those. It doesn’t mean the discussion is over, but they may also need time to collect themselves and be more open to discuss. I know it hurts. But it’s also very brave of you to admit that your reaction wasn’t the right one. It means you are willing to better yourself and learn from this mistake. It’s truly positive. So, I really hope your friend will be open to discuss honestly and respectfully. Unfortunately, you can’t solve this situation if they don’t want to be involved. A relationship implies some efforts from everyone.
There are things you can control, things you can’t. And if you feel like there’d be an opportunity to discuss honestly, to apologize and let them know that you’re willing not to repeat the same, then it could be worth the try. But their reaction and decisions would remain their own.
In the meantime, take care of yourself. It’s easy to fall in a circle of self-blame when we feel guilty, but it can be unhealthy too. Make sure that this situation would be an opportunity for growth, and only this. 
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Hey friend. We spoke about your topic on my live stream the other day and I drew this art for you. I hope it encourages you!
Hold Fast.
-Dan
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Hey friend. Thank you for sharing. It’s great that you recognize that your actions may have caused some harm to your friend. It’s not easy to sit with these feelings, I’ve been there many times. If you’re feeling ready, I think the best way to repair the relationship is to acknowledge your actions to them. Let them know how you think your behavior made them feel, and ask them if you have that right. Give them a chance to voice their feelings if they want to, and listen without interrupting. Ask them what you can do to make it better. I think if your friend hears how genuinely you care about them and their feelings, they will be more open to conversation. I hope that helps! Sending lots of love 
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