I want to self-harm but I don’t have access to any sharp objects so I’m starving myself instead. Does that count as self-harm?
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I’m just upset with myself and need to punish myself. It’s normal at this point.
I was listening to a talk on hatred this morning, as I’ve been struggling with anger a lot lately.
In this talk the man said that at the very bottom of hatred is love, he said that if one ‘hates’ something… he wants it to be different… better… so he’s saying, what we ‘hate’ can actually be driven by love. Loving as a way to grow and make better, improve.
I’d never thought of hate in those terms before, but I can see his point very clearly, especially when we find we ‘hate’ ourselves. We want to be enough, and have the world see us as enough, but when we believe we’re not enough, we ‘hate’ ourselves.
You don’t “need” to punish you for being you. You “need” to love you for being you. You can’t see that now because it hurts so much, it’s too hard to see past the pain.
As difficult as it is for you to cope with your emotions, as overwhelmed by the sadness you feel right now, you’re not alone. And this time Will pass.
We must find healthy ways to cope with emotional overload, ways that leave us feeling ‘good’ about ourselves, instead of ashamed of our behavior.
These are Very hard choices to make in the throws of rampaging emotions, but the difficult choices can help get you on a path to healing.
As much as you believe it is you, I believe this is something that you’re experiencing, which doesn’t make it less real, but does make it manageable.
Please take what ever self care measure you have, and try to remain as calm as you can with deep breathing, and positive and beautiful imagery going through your mind. Its important to keep your mind free of negative thoughts and images, just as it is important to keep connected. This is a struggle for you, but you’re not alone in your struggle. Peace 
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Hey @Rowan,
Indeed, self-harm can include a large range of behaviors. Fasting as a way to punish yourself can be perceived as self-harm. It’s good that you are able to identify already why you do that, even if it’s part of your habits and feels normal to you. Somehow, you know it’s not, as you are wondering if this is a type of self-harm or not.
I’d like to highly recommend you to have a look at the workbook ReWrite, which is a resource provided by HeartSupport. I’ve read it last year with a friend as a way to support them because they used to hurt themselves, but I could relate to what was described in the book through my own experience with eating disorders. I believe this could be a valuable resource to you as well if you’re willing to work on those coping mechanisms and learn to find new ways to deal with those emotions/thoughts about yourself.
- Book ReWrite (Amazon)
- https://forum.heartsupport.com/tag/rewrite (Forum category dedicated to the book in order for people to be supported while working on the book - in the first “Chapters” topics, you can watch stream videos when the guys read the book. It could give you a preview of the content).
Sending love. 
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