TW: malnourished

im so sorry if this is triggering to anyone. about a month ago i went to the doctor and found out i was malnourished and have low iron. the doctor told be to take vitamins, but i don’t want to take them. it took major convincing from my mom for me to even go get the vitamins from the health store. having low iron makes me anemic and im always tired and im pale and i just feel awful about myself. i look like a ghost and i just look so tired even after a full night of sleep. if i feel so bad, why don’t i just take the iron supplements? they would only do me good but ny brain keeps telling me i don’t need them and i don’t want to feel better. i’m just really frustrated with myself because i have a problem with an easy solution, but i won’t do anything about it. i cut back a lot on eating. i hardly ate much before so now i only eat about two things a day. i dont exercise, i just go to work and then stay in my room the rest of the night. i have been losing weight. i like how slim i look now though. i know i should be eating more, and some days i do eat more but i feel guilty after i eat anything. i’m a little scared of myself because a few years ago i was counting calories and going on crazy diets, but then i learned that i deserve to eat. i still believe i deserve to eat, but now, i call myself fat for being hungry. my mother keeps telling me i’m so skinny and it honestly feels relieving to hear that. anytime someone negatively comments about my body, weight, or diet i get so self critical. i’m sick of people telling me i’m unhealthy, it makes me feel gross. if i don’t eat, people can’t say that. it’s so nice to actually be happy with my body for the first time in my life, it just makes me upset that if i want to be healthy and eat, i will go back to my old body. i do miss the feeling of eating and not thinking about every ingredient in my food. sending you all my love, tpwk xx <3

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Hey hslot!

EsRivs responded to your post live on YouTube with some awesome words of encouragement!

Here is a link to their video reply so you can hear it for yourself!

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