TW: my past foster care, abuse

[arw]

so i need to get some things about my past out. my biological parents where addicted to drugs and alcohol and didnt treat us right never feed us not bc they didnt have money but bc they didnt care one day when i was 4 my father was drunk and took hat strings and choked us with it and my mom and my grandmother just watched and didnt do anything. i was put into the hospital for 6 months and then put in foster care and wasnt treated write i was locked in rooms never really got food and i was in school but i never went and my foster mom always said i was sick but i was doing push ups and squates and a bunch of exercises as punishment for not saying yes ma’am and no ma’am and sucking my thumb(it was a coping thing and still is dont judge) and i got beat with a ruler and a belt with metal and i told my principle and got removed but every family in maryland i went to had either had freinds who abused me or they abused me them selves i was raped and told not to say anything and much more but those are the ones that bother me the most and i found out recently thaat my bio father and mother are getting out of jail in September

[Micro]

Dear @arw,

I’ve reached out to you earlier on Discord, but still wanted to take the time to respond properly to what you bravely shared here. This is about you, your story, your heart, and I truly hope that you will receive as much love as possible right here in this community. If there is something that I’ve learned from a history of abuse, it’s that family is the one we choose, which is not always the one that was given to us at first.

Please know that right here, you are part of an online family that truly cares about you. Without any expectation, without any requirement. Only because you are here, alive, resilient, and beautiful just as you are. Thank you for being here and for sharing all of this. It means a lot, and it’s admirable that you’ve decided to take this step, despite the fear of being silenced or rejected.

I’m so sorry that you’ve suffered so much because of others violence and hatred. You never deserved to be hurt, humiliated, silenced and dismissed like this, and especially not by people who were supposed to provide you the safety you needed as a child and a young adult. It was not your fault. These people failed you. It should have been different, and you are not guilty because of what happened.

I’m not sure if it’s always comforting to know that these traumatics experiences are shared by too many people in this world, but at least it helps sometimes to realize that these circumstances don’t define us, and they certainly don’t have to condition our future either. I understand how it feels to be chocked by someone who’s supposed to protect you, to be locked in a closet begging for someone to put you out of it, to be beaten with the first object found around, to be “punished” in ways that are humiliating and unfair, to be used sexually and receive a silent treatment as a way to deal with it. No one is equipped to face such injustice, and especially not the children that we were and were only craving for some love and acceptance. A child can only love, yet some adults abuse of that power. They were wrong.

I’m sitting right next to you, even just virtually, and want to let you know that you are not alone. These pieces of violence are part of my story. They’re part of yours too. But there is nothing, absolutely nothing in these, that would ever define who we are. You are not their struggles, their hatred, their injustice. You are so, so much more than what these people reflected on you. Love, respect and genuine care are within your reach. Actually it’s yours already, because there’s a huge amount of love and care available for you right here. Not temporarily, but as long as you’re willing to keep sharing life with us. We’re not going to run away.

I can only imagine how it must feel to know that your biological father and mother are getting out of jail in a couple of months. There has to be a lot of deep and mixed emotions that comes with it, but there is room for each one of those. You are allowed to be anxious, angry, sad, worried or any other feeling that you could have today and in times to come. The situation is heavy, but how you feel is valid, and it will always be valid. If that’s okay for you, let us know how this community can support you through this. We’re standing by your side, no matter what.

You have a space right here to share your heart and express yourself, whenever you need. You’ll always be met with love, compassion, and zero judgment. Thank you so much for being brave today and sharing your voice. Your story is important. You matter. You deserve to be heard, cared for, and loved unconditionally. Right here and right now, know that you are heard and loved dearly.