Tw: SH. Well, things happen

Well, things have taken a turn. To keep things short last week i started doing something ive never done before, self harm. There has been only one day since this started where i havent hurt myself. My medicine is clearly not working. My intent isnt to kill myself at the morment but to just releave the mental pain im suffering with. I feel so lonely.

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Hi DoomonSh13, If this is a first time of self harm, Your likely feeling that self-harming yourself is the only way to the solve the puzzle. The medication feels like it not working probably because you’re mindset is at point where it at in this time. Opening up to this is going to be hard but we are here for you on heartsupport. You are not alone in these dark times and i am glad that you’re not just giving up and looking for advice to further your solution. Opening up to these self-harming issues would be a long journey and self-harm makes your loneliness worse by isolating you from others. Self harm is like a snare trap that get you stuck but the sooner you can recognize that self-harm feeds off you feeling lonely, the sooner you can gather the confidence to leave it behind and create more meaningful relationships with others as well as with yourself. This will allow you to open up about it more, Could also try therapy if that the route not wrong to get help to combat the feelings. Hope what i said help again we are here for you on your journey.

• Kyle

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You can be proud of yourself for reaching out, @DoomonSh13. Rest assured that we are proud of you here. Because in the midst of what certainly feels like being on a sinking ship for you, you actually took the step of creating a topic here and sharing about how you’ve been feeling lately, how life has been for you recently. This speaks a lot about your own resilience and your willingness to not let these obstacles make you stuck in a dark place. I’m so very thankful you choose to be here.

As you have mentioned that your medications were not working, may I ask if you are currently in contact with the person who prescribed them to you? I remember you’ve mentioned starting these a couple of months ago - is your doctor/therapist regularly checking in with you to see how it’s progressing? For me personally it was awfully frustrating to have to wait for my body to adapt with no certainty that it would work. Although with adjustments - sometimes with a change of medication too -, it might be possible to find the right medication for your needs.

It’s unfortunate that we react differently to these and can’t predict their efficacy. But you are doing the hard work friend and you are on the right path. Do not hesitate to reach out to your practitioner and let them know about your doubts, as well as how you’ve been feeling. They are here to help, and we are also here to support you.

You are not seen as less of who you are because of what you are going through right now. This is a rough path, and you will learn to feel like walking on your two feet again, my friend. One step at a time. :heart:

Hi DoomonSh13,
I am so sorry that things in your life have taken a turn for the worst. It seems like things have gotten so bad emotionally and psychologically that you are willing to try new methods to cope with it through self harm. Perhaps this is because the other ways to cope have become futile given the immense pain you feel that you resorted to self harm. I feel like self harm has become your primary way to cope, and maybe you find it more effective than other ways given how often you are using it.

I’m sorry that your medication is not working. Have you had a chat with your doctor about it, possibly even asking for a change?

I am sorry that you feel so lonely at the moment. Loneliness is very difficult because it seems as if you are trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts without the ability to share the emotional and psychological burdens you face with others. Have you tried/ considered sharing your pain with a close, trusted friend or family member? Even if you haven’t, I commend you for sharing your pains with us at HeartSupport, and I hope you feel heard. I hope that through your posts, you may find relief in sharing with us.

Hope this helps!

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Well, a lot has happened the last couple weeks. So, my medication: was in fact the problem. Ive been in constant communication with the phycologist abiut everything. My therapist is aware of everything as well. The cutting ironically stopped a couples too.

Let me tell you the night and day difference the medication im on now. Ive started to hang out with friends again. Ive started enjoying my hobbies again. Things have taken a 180. I feel happier and kess down. There still a couple things on my mind but my medication can be increased, so thats likely to happen be for too long.

Sorry about the late reply but here i am lol.