I don’t post on here often but… I’ve been struggling a bit lately with body image and I could use some support rn. So I recently came out of the closet as a guy (ftm trans). I’ve always dealt with dysphoria especially when it comes to my hips, chest and voice. I tend to become jealous of my masculine friends. I can’t stand to look in the mirror for more than 3 minutes at a time because of how my chest looks, how my hips are shaped. It’s like this strong pain deep inside. And when people say “she” or “her” it just hurts so much… a guy told me I should’ve kept my hair long and that was hurtful bc for the first time in forever, getting that haircut gave me euphoria. I’m scared of the laws being passed in the US and I’m scared to just be myself… My name is Tobi and my pronouns are he/they. I wish people would respect that.
When you look at other people who don’t fit the mold of the traditional concept of attractiveness, what do you feel? What do you feel when you see someone with a weight problem? What about someone who is bald and has a baby face? I’m not suggesting that you do a lot of comparing. Instead, I’d like to imagine that you can look in the mirror with the same compassion and nonjudgment that you feel towards others who look “different.” You would not want others to feel bad about how they look. You would realize that they don’t deserve to feel bad about their physical differences. You would heartily disapprove of anyone trying to make them feel bad about themselves. Well, be as kind to yourself as you would be to them. You deserve to be at peace with yourself here and now.
Judging yourself harshly undermines motivation and hope. Don’t do that to yourself.
Yes, it’s very sad that so many self-appointed “crotch police” are coming out of the woodwork. I really hope that you can connect with others with whom you can feel comfortable. I’d like to see you living in a community where you feel free to be who you are.
thank you. I get what you mean, it’ll take time but I can try my best