TW: thoughts of self-harm, bullying

I’ve not been doing well mentally today. I’ve been constantly told to kms, been hit multiple times, and mentally bullied. It just doesn’t make sense, why do I have to be bullied? This thing has been going on forever, internal suffering, why can’t you just leave, and never, ever, come back? I wish I could put myself 1000 miles away from life, have a day where no one treats me like I’m shit, where everyone treats everyone equally. Why must I burden this unwanted attention. Why must I be used by everyone and all these people. I still have to keep my head up high, pretend nothing affects me, but really it does, and it does hard. I want to relapse, but my friend won’t let me. I need help, but can’t get it. I need someone who won’t make me feel like I’m not wanted, who won’t make me feel like a failure, someone who won’t tell me to kms. I’m just tired of it all. I want to take anger out on myself. Relapse. Make all the internal pain go away with external suffering. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve gotten insults for my vision, or just even my been made fun of for it. I’m doing my best to not relapse. The amount that I try to give to others, nothing ever comes back to me. I wish it did. I’m always the shoulder to cry on, but when I need a shoulder to cry on, I can’t find one. I just want happiness. Not sadness. Just happinesses. Nothing else. For everyone to be treated nicely. For someone to check in on me once in a while m, to see how I am doing. That’s all.

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I have been bullied before it feels bad, most of the time its because you are better then them. what i always do when i am feeling down is remember all of the achievements i done in life.

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sometimes it is also good to listen to music and cry on a friend’s shoulder.

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The sad part is that I can’t find anyone. Everyone is always busy. I wish I had someone to cry on their shoulder. but I don’t.

you can find friends if you search. i know someone will be your friend.

just be confident and believe yourself love yourself because life goes on.

I am happy to help you

its just… been a little bit of a rough day.

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well I hope your day gets better everyone has bad days.

I understand that pain, that feeling. We are similar. I am picked on because I am different, and it makes me saddened and angry that people are so selfish and cruel. At times I want them to feel what it is like to be beaten and mocked, but I know that they are broken just like me. I instead help others because it help me feel better about myself. I just don’t want to relapse into sh either.

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From: lovecraft-pilled

What sometimes happens is when you are always the person to go to for other people to vent, you are forgotten. People forget that the person who helps everyone else needs help too. So don’t be afraid to practice some self care and do what’s best for you. It’s important to tend to your emotional needs, especially if no one else will. Give yourself a break and give your heart a break. Everything else follows from that.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Shadow, You were right, you really were having a truly sucky day, can I ask who keeps telling you to end your life? whoever this person is, my advice would be to just avoid them as much as possible, I dont think for a moment they actually want you to do this, they are just being incredibly nasty and wanting to hurt you as much as possible. You are quite right, you do deserve to have some happiness and some peace and quiet but hurting yourself is not going to bring you that. Finding a way to either stay away from the person or people responsible for hurting you or letting someone know about it is a better idea that finding another way to hurt yourself. Im glad you are here Shadow and hope we are of some support and friendship to you. Much Love Lisa x