Ugly Battle

I have this issue sometimes with my faith. I am wondering what is that I can do or stop completely because I am tired of it wholeheartedly. When I am in need of a reassuring voice because I am worried about something and it just seem better to talk to someone than pray. I envision pastors and stronger religious leaders and family. It’s never been ok they do not say not bad things but it seem like it’s been a strong discipline for the simple fact of doing it. I agree but can’t bring it to an end. Its seems like they are mad and now I’m a bully. Which I do agree with as well but this is too much and im just done.


Example it’s like worry about about faith and they will say what because I want them to. Like guidance on certain stuff.

Unpopular opinion: you don’t need pastors or religious leaders to have a relationship with God. I believe church is a community of people with a common interest and shared relationship with God, not the path to Him. YOU are in charge of your relationship with God, not the church; and any church that tells you otherwise is making itself an idol and forcing itself between you and God.

Praying is a hard habit to get into. I’m trying to get it down now, and I’m not making much progress. However, getting on your knees and whispering words isn’t the only way to talk to God. God is with you, and He’s with the people you trust. If you try journaling, writing to yourself, in a way it’s like writing to God. I’ve gotten a lot of clarity out of journaling. If you talk with a trusted friend, you are talking to God in them, and God is speaking to you through them.

I’m doing a church program right now that is focusing on the nature of our sins. I’m sure you’ve heard a million times that we’re sinful by nature, but right now I’m learning what that actually means. When you say you acknowledge your sin but can’t stop it, that’s natural. It’s the way we were born. That doesn’t make it okay, but God understands that we’re not perfect and we’ll continue to mess up, and He’ll continue to forgive us as long as we ask. The path to forgiveness is to acknowledge your sin to yourself and God, and to ask Him for grace. “Hey God, I slipped up again. I’m sorry. It may not be the last time, but I’m here to ask for Your forgiveness, for wisdom and strength next time I’m tempted, and for understanding when I slip up again.”

My wife and I are reading the Old Testament right now, and it keeps playing out like that over and over. The Israelites worship Pagan gods, sleep around all over the place, and kill each other; and every time plagues or enemy tribes or famine come around they turn to God and say “We’re sorry we disappointed you, we see the error of our ways, and we beg you for mercy.” God knows they mean it, so He saves them from whatever bad things are coming for them. As we read, we think “Wow these guys are stupid. When will they learn?” But the reality is we are the exact same way. We live for money, commit sexual sins, and hurt people when we’re angry; but when consequences come, if we turn to God, He’s there to listen.

Only God can judge you. Anyone who looks down on you for admitting your sins is playing God, and that might be an even greater sin. Don’t listen to judgy people when you’re opening up to them; they’re hurting you at a time of great vulnerability, and doing so in God’s name.

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People can have Faith any way they want or feel is right. You don’t have to go to church if you don’t want to, you don’t have to speak to pastors for advice. You can still live your life exactly how you’d like to, and be religious. I truly believe that God doesn’t judge. He loves everyone for who they are, regardless of mistakes they have made.
I don’t think all the “rules” that extreme religious followers preach about are valid. I think religion is a way of gaining control of a group of people. Find a way to express your Faith how you feel is right, and live your life the way you want to.