You might have heard the term, agoraphobia, which pretty much describes fear of “being out in the open.” Regarding feeling obligated to improve, you are responsible only to yourself. Pressuring yourself to improve is a source of self induced anxiety. It’s as though you are anxious about continuing to feel anxious.
You have indicated that you can’t think, essentially because you are thinking too much. That sounds to me as though you have repeating patterns of negative thoughts, which occupy your mind, and you have been unable to turn them off.
So, I’d say that you are stuck, but as far as I can tell, that’s not unusual. There are ways to get unstuck, but those who are stuck are not likely to see them. There is a relationship between the panic attacks and being stuck, as the repeating pattern of thoughts reinforce the anxiety.
Therapists often use gradual desensitization techniques to help people overcome anxiety triggers. For example, in your case, just holding the phone in your hand for a few minutes daily can help you become more comfortable with it. Perhaps stepping outside and standing on the porch for a few minutes, can begin the process of reducing anxiety related to going out. Then maybe you can step out into the yard and listen to the birds and the wind.
There is some really nice calming meditation music on YouTube. I think you might find that helpful.
Be patient with yourself. Healing must occur on your unique timetable, not someone else’s.