Undisclosed trauma

I just realized I might have complex/compounded trauma to heal from. I literally don’t remember a lot about the hardest year of my life. I remember big events but there were some smaller life altering moments that I didn’t remember but looking at my old messages theres events and conversations that must have happened because they are documented.

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Trauma can affect people in so many different ways, and it is a thing to just not remember the trauma. It sounds difficult to have just realized you might have trauma to heal from. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that. :hrtlegolove: I hope that you can receive support in your healing journey. Perhaps a therapist could help you out?

How can HeartSupport best support you?

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I don’t know how this beautiful community can support me but I posted here because I knew I could get support.

I’ve been thinking about therapy but I’ve had bad experiences so I have been devising a solid plan to get help. I wanted to wait on therapy until I knew myself enough to know if their professional plan has a chance and I don’t stay stuck with the same person.

I thought I was strong but now I’m remembering codependency issues then as if I might still have them. Trauma bonding has been my go to type friendship my entire life. Those 2 issues in the place of inexperienced hands was dangerous. But back then I lived for danger and felt its comfort. I trusted a friend to love and lead but the had never seen anybody like me before and God prevailed in spite of them.

I thought I had healed, but now i really think my plan for professional therapy needs to be solidified faster

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It’s okay if you don’t know what kind of support you want! Just let us know if you realize something we could do to help.

Good for you for putting in effort to find what you need from a therapist. They won’t all mesh well with you, and the relationship between you and therapist tends to be the most significant factor. So I hope you can someone you like! It can be hard. Easier said than done. It sounds like you’re being very strong in figuring this out, despite the previous bad experiences.

Even if there are other factors that might mean you could be stronger, I still see strength in the actions you’re taking to help yourself. For what it’s worth.

It sounds like you’re becoming aware of what some of the issues you’re facing are, and that is an important step in improving!

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I am strong because of what I went through and despite the people in my life. I have been abandoned by so many people it has been hard to trust those who don’t. So guess now I see why I run away from every good thing

I actually blocked out the memory of my longest friendship on its last rope when she told her she was not dealing with me anymore. She pushed me away during the hardest year of my life but for some reason I stayed in contact like I always had to the point where I thought we had always been friends when there was a time when I doubted our friendship due to the pain. I thought we just had been having communication problems, not full blown leaving me to fend for my on my own

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Having people leave you like that sounds so challenging. You are indeed strong despite the people in your life.

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