Unimportant

Hey, I’m unimportant. Why? Well, because nobody cares about me. People used to, but they don’t anymore. Should I drop off the face of the earth, nobody would care. The only people that would care are those who hate me, because they’d celebrate my passing. I have a lot of haters, which is funny considering how unimportant I am. My teachers, my peers, random strangers, they all loathe me. To be frank, I’m actually ok with that. It doesn’t bother me at all; I find it quite humorous that people would spend their valuable time on earth hating someone as insignificant as myself. What does bother me is that the people closest to me are starting to feel the same way about me. My girlfriend has become more and more distant and when we chat lashes out at me more and more. My parents and siblings treat me like I’m an alien. My closest friends are distancing themselves from me. Every day, at lunch, I wander, lonely. I’m surrounded by crowds of people, yet I feel so alone. It’s as if I’m a million miles away from them, or as if I’m invisible. When I say things or try and show them that I exist, they hate me for it. But I’m used to it, and that’s not why I’m here. I’d be fine with that if my girlfriend didn’t start acting up. My girlfriend is really the only person I care about in the world. What she thinks of me is ultimately all I care about. But now I can’t help but feel as if she hates me. People say suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, and I agree with that. But when your problem isn’t temporary, but rather unsolvable and painful, then it’s different. I have no real reason to go on, other than succeeding purely to spite everyone in my life. Should I do that, however, my victory will be hollow and pointless. Part of me feels a great deal of shame for even writing this. I should be strong and deal with my problems by myself, like people are supposed to do. I’m not supposed to bring everyone else down or be a buzzkill. But, my technique of always choosing to feel happy and masking my true feelings isn’t working and cracks are starting to appear. I don’t think I can maintain it. I hope you can understand that. Another part of me feels that this is a good way to archive my existence on planet earth. If you are reading this, I’m sorry if I brought down your mood. If you are one of the people in my life, know that you are letting me down, but I deserve it so don’t stop I guess. If you are someone who hates me, I hope your celebration goes well and that you have lots of fun :slight_smile:

3 Likes

Hey there. I’m really sorry if people have been purposely harassing you! Have they been commenting things towards you to express why they would dislike you or lead you to believe they loathe you?
As for strangers disliking you, sometimes it can be overwhelming and you feel like people know who you are and feel they’d think the same about you as anyone else who throw strong judgement against you.
Have you been able to communicate with your girlfriend about any of this? Sometimes when someone cares about someone else so much it gets really hard to know how to help them. Perhaps her frustration comes from not being able to change how you’re feeling or pull you out of this absolutely horrible state of mind.
You can’t help your emotions and how you feel right now, but I do think that you deserve help! Professional help maybe? Have you thought about that or is it something you’d be interested in?
You deserve to try figure out a healthy way to be able to cope with these feelings and have a healthy and fun relationship with your partner.
You deserve to be listened to and understood.
Maybe you can have a look through the resource list and find what suits you best, but please reach out. I’ll link it once I organise myself! Sorry

2 Likes

Hi friend,
I wanna tell you that you are indeed important to me, Know how I can prove that? I just carefully read your post, and I am here to say that I hear you, I hear your pain, and I SEE YOU. You are important to me, because you’re you, and I want to help you through this.

Masking your true feelings is a difficult thing, and this is a lovely safe space to vent those out, safely, with confidence, with confidentiality as well. Life does suck a lot sometimes, people can suck too, we ourselves can also suck. But things can also change, or be tweaked, or be altered in some way.

I’m interested in hearing more about what you’re feeling and what’s going on in your life.

I have personally struggled with this, carrying a load of secrets and pain that I thought I would “spare” others from knowing. But when I did share it, it helped me free up some of my own mental resources to be better able to handle it. There’s no one right way to deal, cope or survive something, and no man is an island. It is far easier to share your pain than we think. We’re here to listen, without judgement.

We love you and we care about you.

Are you safe right now?
Will you permit me to get to know you a bit better, for us all to get to know you better? I’m sure there are a lot we can talk about, and a lot to learn from each other, and even with each other. Share your burdens with us friend, we’re here for you.

2 Likes

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi friend, Welcome to Heart support thank you for posting here, I am sorry you are having a hard time… I think I should start with the obvous… you are most definately not unimportant in any way shape of form. Can I ask you why you think so many people dislike you so much? I cant image why anyone whould loathe you not to mention why so many would, I was wondering if it was a factual comment or a feeling that you have which of course if two entirely different things and pretty important. It saddens me to see you have such a low opinion of yourself, Why do you think you are so insignificant? I can tell you that you are not and I don’t know you, I can tell you that because I dont consider anyone insignificant, infact I think you and all of us are truly valuable human beings that all bring something unique to this world and that means you too. If you truly believe you are this afwul person that deserves no place in this world, has no friends and probably shouldnt even be here have you thought that it might be time to get some help with those troubles and so you know there is no shame at all in asking for help, infact it shows strength. I would love you to stick around and let us know how you are getting on, you are welcome here anytime. Please keep sharing any problems you have if you wish to. You are not alone at all, you have friends here and you are cared for. Much Love Lisa. x

2 Likes

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, VIP! (yes I changed your name to something more accurate in my opinion :hrtlegolove:) Welcome to the HeartSupport community! You most certainly are not unimportant. You matter :hrtlegolove:

I can understand having intrusive thoughts in which you assume people’s opinions of you but the reality is usually less horrible. I find it difficult to believe people in your life genuinely hate you. What makes you feel this way? Do you think it is something about your personality they dislike or your sense of humour? There are all kinds of people in the world and there are definitely people out there that I think would like your particular personality whatever it is. Just from the way you write it seems like you are a very straightforward and sarcastic person and that tends to be the kind of person I gravitate towards. They tend to be funny but honest.

I know a lot of people think that keeping your feelings and problems to yourself is a sign of strength. I used to think similarly that I didn’t want to bother other people with my problems because they were mine and they have their own lives to deal with. But the truth is that being open and vulnerable takes a lot of courage and strength to let people see what you are dealing with and I hope you come to understand that and that you open up to the people closest to you. Especially to your girlfriend. Isn’t the point of having a SO be to have someone you can share your thoughts, feelings, and fears with? Someone to have a ton of fun with as well, of course, but for support on a deep level beyond friendship as well. At least that is my understanding of romantic relationships and their purpose.

I hope you find the strength to tell others in your life about what you have shared with us and I hope they prove themselves worthy of being in your inner circle of trust. Please come share with us again anytime. You will never be seen as unimportant around here. Good luck :hrtlegolove:

1 Like

Hey, unimportant here again. I got a lot of replies from a lot of nice people, and I appreciate your kindness. A few questions have been asked about my situation, so I’m going to answer them. Firstly, yes, I am safe, thank you for asking. I’m not going to do anything irrational or cruel to myself, but ultimately the permanent solution is always an option for me if things get too bad. Secondly, the reason why people hate me. This boils down to four things. Firstly, my friend group distanced themselves from me for no reason I can think of and they never talk to me or acknowledge me, instead they tell others to follow suit. Secondly, almost 3 years ago now, a few people whom I trusted released information I wanted to keep private and publicly humiliated me in a discord server with over 50 members, all of which go to schools in my city. Thirdly, my political views, which makes sense, because politics always lead to division. But what makes it different for me is that people are able to set their differences aside and make friendships with anyone except me. Lastly, after noting that people seemed to hate me or were entirely indifferent to me, I simply gave up on trying to make friends. It isn’t possible for me. Another question would be whether I’ve spoken to my girlfriend about any of this. Yes and no. I don’t want to ruin her day with my problems or make her feel bad, but occasionally I can’t help it. Another question is why I consider myself to be so insignificant. Well, it’s because my significance is decided by the people around me. I of course love myself, that isn’t something I struggle with, but the people around me feel anything from the coldest indifference to extreme hatred towards me. To the world around me, I am worth less than nothing, because at least if I was nothing I wouldn’t be a nuisance to them. Outside of that, I’m still insignificant, because out there in the world there are thousands of people who are just like me, only better. They share my beliefs, sense of humor, personality, only they’re superior to me in terms of looks, strength, intelligence e.t.c. However, I couldn’t care less about any of it, the only thing that bothers me is my girlfriend being more distant. But even then, I guess that’s a selfish thing, since as long as she loves me I should be happy. The final question would be if I would consider getting professional help. The answer is no, because I do not trust therapists. I don’t like the idea of someone getting into my head and poking around. Besides, I’m not worth a therapist’s time, both because of my insignificance and because I’m not so far gone as to require one. Much love to all the kind people who replied to my post, love is love even if the person giving it out doesn’t matter <3

2 Likes

This topic was automatically closed after 365 days. New replies are no longer allowed.