Unseen & sad

I’ve been married for a 10+ yrs but I’m fairly young (early 30’s no kids) & I feel so unseen by my husband. Lately I’ve been trying to read all the books & free literature possible to work on myself & better myself for my marriage. Thinking the better & healthier I am maybe it will catch his attention. I’ve tried talking to him but he doesn’t hear my concerns. I’m feeling so insecure & sad because this isn’t us. Part of me is afraid he just doesn’t love me or want me anymore, maybe after 10yrs of marriage he’s just over me. I hate feeling this way & it’s pushing me into a deep hole. Old feelings of acting out like drinking or cutting come to mind when I’m at my lowest points of feeling unseen & rejected. Idk what I’m expecting to get from writing this; I know acting out isn’t the answer & I can only do my best to make it better & I can only control my actions/feelings/reactions but when I voice my concerns over & over again on deaf ears it breaks my heart to not be heard or seen. Thank you for being a safe place to express my feelings. I’d appreciate any feedback or encouragement or prayers that things will get better.


Hey @unseen, welcome to the Heart Support community! Hope that this can be a place where you feel loved and seen.

Thank you so much for being here and for sharing and for being vulnerable because that takes so much strength. I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through because that sounds really hard. I am not married, so I am probably not qualified to give any advice, but just wanted to reach out to let you know that I hear you and see you. You are not alone.

I have a lot of insecurities in general and know that can be a really sucky headspace of constantly questioning everything I do or say just to try to be accepted by someone. Please know that you have worth and value regardless of what anyone says or does and that you’re emotions and feelings are completely valid.

Sending prayers and positive vibes your way!


Hey friend thanks for writing, I can’t give advice on it but I can tell you your not alone. I wanted to marry the girl I’m with, but it’s the same thing constantly feel alone like it’s not a relationship at all. No discussions can be had it’s always a fight, there right your wrong I get the feeling. My only self help has just been focusing on me and my hopes and dreams. I try talk to her and I talk with my therapist about how to communicate my feelings and I mean that’s opened some channels but not much. And I believe you said you had kids and all so that makes things harder I’m sure. For me thought I pretty much have an ultimatum right, I told her things have to start improving and our relationship has to get better or at some point I will have to step away and make sure I’m happy. Best advice I have got is be selfish about it sometimes that’s ok you need to, be selfish and do what makes you happy and try to communicate with your spouse and make a decesion what will make you the happiest that’s what I’m doing in my similar situation hope that knowing your not alone gives you some peace much love form Iowa sent your way rock on strong friend


Hi Friend,

The Houston HeartSupport Team replied to your post. Here is the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gCGJBOrptq1cQtreopkosSu1HL958hOz/view?usp=sharing

Hold Fast Friend


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