Hi you beautiful human you.
Thank you so much for sharing these updates, @Alex. It sounds that you’re really, really doing all that you can to find the right balance both in your personal life and regarding your relationship with your partner. That is indeed something to be proud of. You could have let yourself drown by a feeling of helplessness and not try to take care of yourself at all. But you keep on living, without ignoring or dismissing how the situation makes you feel. That’s very, very strong and thoughtful of you.
Do you think this is okay of me?
I personally think that checking in on them after a month is absolutely reasonable. Of course, it’s a personal limit, and it can be different for your partner. You are also just checking in - not pressuring them for anything regarding your relationship. It’s a good way to show that you care about them, think of them, but also respect their request and don’t want to overwhelm them. Ultimately, the way they will react or respond will be based on how they perceive your message.
Also, does anyone know what I can/should do while I wait for a response? I don’t want to rush her at all, but I also don’t want to be afraid to ask, and see if there’s anything needed from me, or how she sees us now.
It’s a tough situation, as you are kind of left in the unknown. At least, when you have a clear perspective to hold on to, it helps to navigate a situation and be assured that it is temporary. In that case, unfortunately not knowing what would result or where to go is also kind of the purpose of her break. At least, I imagine she needed time for some inner reflection, and on that matter there is no rule in terms of time or results.
I truly admire and respect you so much for doing your best to not rush her at all. I think that’s a beautiful mark of love and respect. You’re a good person, Alex.
As for now, I would say that you’ve initiated an interaction, so it’s better to really wait for a potential answer, without asking twice. Maybe you can set yourself a bit of a personal timeframe in case she doesn’t get back to you. I imagine that waiting one month before sending this message for example is something you’ve kind of set up in your mind before? It might be the same here. Just having some large yet tangible perspectives to hold on to, so it could help you wait and free your mind a little bit of worries. Not entirely of course, but at least a little more. When we know/decide what we’re heading to, it makes easier to just handle time itself.
I’m studying with a friend to be less alone today, and making sure I am reaching out my support system, but I still feel quite sad and depressed. There’s a lot going on- relationship, school, work, and man, I am quite down today.
Keep focusing on you as you do right here. There is your relationship, and there is you as an individual. At the moment, your partner is focusing on them. You can use that time to do the same. That doesn’t mean you are betraying her or that you start loving her. It’s just a matter of timing, and where to shift our focus. Between school and work, you have a lot to do (heck, midterms are also stressful and time consuming!). But make sure also to rest, make yourself cozy and treat yourself when you feel down. This situation right now kind of forces you to focus on you. There are days when it will be okay because you’ll have a lot to do. Otherw when you’ll really don’t want to focus on you, on how you feel or on your needs. Both are okay. And there is something to learn through each.
I really hope with all my heart that she will respond to you soon and that it will help to ease your potential fears too. In the meantime, make sure to welcome any feelings just as they are, ask yourself how you can meet your needs at the moment, and be patient with yourself while you are taking some new steps.
Sending lots of love your way.