Update: after the attempt(TW)

Still in a lot of mental pain right now. I don’t having internal issues, not that I’m aware of at least.

Got into some fights online today. I figured it’d finally be good to leave that other community I’ve been apart of for 3 years. Or only talk to the people who truly cared about me and enjoy being around me.

It really hurts when people call you stupid for attempting to commit suicide. And I’ve lost support from a few people because now I wasn’t the cool or fun girl anymore to them. I just let them go because I don’t need people who flake once they see my flaws.

I’ve been sleeping a lot more lately and I can barely stay awake in my classes. My teachers always had to wake me up. Some just let me sleep.

I don’t know what to do. I try to focus on my work but my mind is just blank. And I feel a lot of pressure since this is the last school semester and I really don’t have time to sit and relax or recover from this.

Just stressed out all around.

I guess I’m just trying to find little things to cheer me up now. Like food but I don’t want to end up overstuffing myself like in the past.

I just really need support

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From: SuchBlue

Hi Amaris, welcome back

I’m very sad to hear that people treated you like this because of what you are experiencing. It’s very hard for our brains to focus when we have so much pressure and thoughts, and it isn’t your fault that you feel like that. Even trying to focus on your work can increase the stress even more, so it just keeps building up and it is out of your control. It’s hard, but take a deep breath, try to stay positive even when it seems like it’s impossible, and I hope that your stress will soon be relieved and your life will start improving soon :hrtlegolove:

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi Amaris. Here is the biggest hug I can give :hugs:. I am so sorry you are in so much pain right now and that you are not getting the support you deserve and should be getting. You are not stupid for trying to do what you did. You were in a lot of pain and while I dont think it was a good desicion it wasnt made because of being stupid it was because you were in such emotional turmoil and anguish that it felt like the only way out. Its good that you had let go of people that werent there for you or called you stupid for what you did. Keeping people around that care about you is just as important as letting go of those that dont. I really hope you will find more people that care about you and that appreciate you for who you are Amaris. I am wishing you all the best and for the pain to get better. You dont deserve to be in so much of it :heart:

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From: Ash

Dear Amaris First off I am so glad you are opening this and sharing this. The idea of what has been going on for you just seems like a weight. And in my honest oppinion no one should carry something like this alone. And you have done one of the biggest steps of giving us that chance to support you in carrying it. I know that you mentioned being tired and just wanting to sleep. That is so hard because you cant just magically not be tired. I have been feeling that way a lot lately too personally it is so flustering because I dont want to wake up in the morning start my day and than begin to get tired even if all I am doing is relaxing or such I keep feeling as thou I could sleep all day without even trying. Have you consulted a doctor, or therapist about this. There are some medical conditions that can cause this and than it is also sadly sometimes a side effect of specific meds. To me this is effecting your daily life. Who ever it was that was calling you stupid does not deserve you in their life because uh your not stupid for this. Ya you may not not want to try that in this moment but at that moment you felt it was and is the only option at that time. You couldnt see anyway around it and for someone to call and treat you like you are stupid for that is just not okay. I am so sorry. You deserve people who will stand at your side during the toughest times and that is counting this. I am so sorry to hear you are stressed out right now that would be a very common thing with everything you have going on. As for the trying to cheer you up what do you enjoy doing for me sometimes finding a new video game cheers me up just a little or a good snuggle with my dog helps me a lot. It doesnt have to be food related even tho yes like you food makes me happy and brings me joy. Overall I am here to help to be there for you. Hold fast I believe in you.

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@Amaris,

Just a small reminder today that you are loved dearly. I’m glad you are here, and can’t wait to keep hearing about all the good things you are going to experience in the future. There is hope. There is more than the pain in this life. You will be okay. Keep reaching out as much as needed. Keep looking after the little joys and sparks of beauty all around. It is there, even when life feels really heavy. I believe in you. We all do.

:hrtlegolove:

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Thank you, hearing that really makes my day much better!!!:two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

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