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Update and stuff

Since my last post a lot has happened.

I moved. I now live with my parents again in California rather than with my best friend in Arizona. The move was tough…I wanted so badly to stay in AZ and continue the life I’d built there. But it wasn’t meant to be.

When I returned home, things immediately crashed. My dad’s stage 4 colon cancer is back. He has spots on his liver and his abdominal wall. He also had some very concerning GI bleeding so he has to get a upper endoscopy to make sure the cancer isn’t also back in his GI tract. Then he faces getting his port put back in and more chemo. Things aren’t particularly optimistic right now.

So things have been hard. Very hard. I miss my friends and feel isolated being 10.5hrs away from them. Im heartbroken over my dad’s situation.

Also sad news, with having moved…I do not have access to counseling anymore. Before my dad’s news, I had almost talked my mom into gifting me 6months of counseling through BetterHelp but now with his cancer back…we probably can’t even afford that. I cant get on the waiting list for a psych here. It sucks. Im not even sure my new PCP will refill my psych meds.

With moving back, Im also again having to deal with my parents’ telling me of my failures and such. To them, Im not responsible enough or smart enough. It frustrates me to no end. I wish they could see me as the strong, independent, beautiful, amazing person I know I have grown to be.

Anyways, to end this post I wanna say thanks to everyone here for your support. Thanks for having my back. (Special thanks to Danjo and Casers for always loving me. I still have that video Casers made forever ago and use that as a pick me up sometimes.) Thank you for your replies and love. It means the world to me to know that I am not alone.

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Thank you for sharing. I’m so so sorry to hear about your dad. It seems like you are going through so many huge changes. They sound so hard. Please keep reaching out for support on here and know that we care deeply. I am praying that something will come up where you can see a counselor and get your meds refilled. That those doors will completely be open. Please be careful with your meds and if you have to go off them wean off them and don’t just stop taking them cold turkey. Really hope you can get them refilled or find a Dr that you can afford.

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Bethy, I know that it is really hard right now but you got this. I also know that you have a lot of people in your corner. I am so glad that you shared this with us. I also want you to know that no one can say what is going to happen but you will be one step closer to the best that is too come for you. Dont give up on that future.

We care about you beth.
Ash

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hey @TheeCrazyBethy
Just want you too we love you and miss you. Thing may be hard rightnow but we love you !
hold fast you’re worth it .
-Ashley

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I am very sorry about your father, I will keep him in my prayers. I’m glad you were able to share your story with the community. If you need to talk I’m here.

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