I have an update on how I’ve been doing since the last Relapse
I have been now attending NA meetings since last night, but I also have been attending AA/NA meetings for five days also to help me out along the way with my recovery process. It will not be an easy recovery for me. But I am progressing. This is day 5 of me being Sober since my second relapse to prescription pills. I am lucky I am not dead yet. I am grateful to be alive. I will continue to attend these AA/NA meetings along with the only NA meetings that are sponsored by NA. The AA/NA meetings are held by my friend who lives in HI I knew her back from when I was in High School so she introduced me to her recovery group five days ago. But I joined the NA group to help along with my drug addiction so I hope that this helps with my recovery. It will not be easy but I am progressing and I just hope to stay sober. There will be always open containers of prescription bottles or bottles of over the counter pills lying around in the house and I’ll be tempted to OD on them, so this will be a hard recovery for me. I just hope to be alright and that I remain sober. But I almost fucked up this morning when I saw a bottle of pills and I just wanted to down over seven of them, because I’ve had enough of this crap… but I just couldn’t because I wanted to remain sober so I had to make the hard choice and get rid of them! I just hope that I can stay clean with this sobriety. I’m really struggling with this addiction to drugs(pills) it’s really hard for me in recovering. I feel as if another Relapse may end up happening… but I really hope it doesn’t. I’m really struggling to recover right now. I don’t want my mother or my sister to find out about the two relapses that I had, so I just hope that I do not have another drug relapse. Though I feel as if one may happen. I just hope that with me continuing to attend the NA meetings it will help. It’s really really hard for me right now. I just hope nothing happens to me and that I do not slip up. I’m 5 days clean and I don’t want to screw it up. I’ve seriously turned into an addict from those two relapses I’m a fucking drug junkie! I have to keep on attending every meeting to stay sober and clean!
Amazing! It’s inspiring to see you face this fight with such determination. Not every journey is a straight line, but you will reach the end if you keep going! Wishing you well <3
Thanks,I just hope it will help, and that I do not have another relapse. I feel as if another one will happen
Hey @Anonymous2020, we believe in you. The urges to relapse can feel very intense, but you’ve managed to face those before, without hurting yourself, and you’ll be able to keep doing it.
Is there something that helped you in the past to deal with those feelings? Something that would help you to shift your focus, eventually to relax and/or to spend this energy that’s inside of you in a healthy way? Maybe listing those things and keeping the list with you could be helpful in times to come.
Keep us updated, if it helps a little to keep some kind of accountability. You are more than welcome to do so. 
Hi, I have been doing my best by attending as many NA meetings as I can via Zoom. I just hope that this helps me with the whole recovery process. It has not been easy for me. Each time I see an open container of pills, I have that sudden impulse of wanting to down all of those pills. So it’s very hard to avoid all of this. I have had to pull away from any type of prescription pill that is not mine and over the counter pill that will… hurt me. Those two lapses really fucked me up for good. I have not been the same since. Each time I see a pill bottle I want to go for it and down most of them and just relapse over and over again. So this will be a very hard recovery for me, It really has not been easy. This will be the third day for me attending the NA meetings and the fifth day of attending the AA/NA meeting my friend moderates and has in HI so I just hope this all helps me out.
You’re doing a lot to get the support you need, and that’s really awesome. Know that we’re all proud of you for your efforts and perseverance here. It’s not easy to stay away from what might hurt you, but it’s definitely a really, really healthy decision. 
I hope your next meetings in those groups will go well. Also that, in the long run, it will be a pillar of strength to you.
You’ve been through a lot lately. But you are breathing, you are alive. You are not broken. I believe in you and am rooting for you.
Thanks. It’s a long recovery progress, but I’m doing my best to hang in there. My family doesn’t even know that I am battling this addiction.
I’m sorry they don’t know about it. It’s hard when we can’t receive the support of our own family while being in the midst of such a intense battle. It might not be the same, but know that you have an online fam’ right here, and NA meetings will also be a really good place to create new bonds.
Do you live with your family right now?
I do. And they are strict in everything that I do. If I have done something wrong like the harmful things, then they will send me away. So that is why I have to keep this from my family.
I’m really sorry your family is not more understanding and supportive. In my own family, we never really had any space to talk about our emotions or show any kind of vulnerability. We would be guilted for it, which just sucks and is damaging in the long run.
I’m really glad you are here, friend. I hope this can be an open door for something different than the patterns you might see in your own surroundings. Hope this safe space here gives you some opportunity to breathe. Know that you are genuinely loved and cared for. I understand what you are going through, and you are very brave. <3
My mothers friend used to be addicted to Crystal Meth and it took her multiple tries to stay sober for a week. I think that you are making incredible progress and that you should keep up the good work!
I hope so too. It has not been easy keeping this from my family.
Thanks, I just want to make this work so I do not lose friendships that I have had for a long time now. They are getting tired of my habits in using drugs( as in pills) So I hope these NA meetings help with that.
AA and NA really helped my mother as well, keep it up, you got this 
Thanks, I hope they can. I’ll be needing it.