Update on how my life has flipped

TW: threatens of suicide

Just an update for those who asked for one as well as a way for me to vent about my situation. I saw my fiance for the first time in a week yesterday. He decided to only give me a couple minutes heads-up that he was showing up to see my son. He didn’t say he was going to show up with his two brothers but he did. Then when he showed up, he didn’t even hold our son first, his brothers did and then he did hold him for a short period of time. I was so scared that they were going to run off with him and I was kicking myself for even allowing them to hold him in the first place, but never again. After that my fiance and I talked, mostly he lied and tried to gaslight me and manipulate me. My brother was around and got on recording things he said including him admitting to threatening to shoot himself if I left. And when I brought up that’s stuff my abusive ex used to do, my fiance then said I misunderstood and he was using threatening to shoot himself as a metaphor or an example. Of what? I have no idea. Fast forward to today, I decided to get police involved so I could get clothes of mine and stuff for my son from our house that’s soon to not be our house anymore. They were around so I could grab things but they said my ex had a say of me not taking certain things if he wanted to, including my stuff that I bought!!! Forgot to mention he had his whole family there as well because they thought I was going to bring my son. I broke off the engagement and his mom threatened to take me to court so my now ex fiance can see our son even though I currently have full custody since we were never married. He could try to take me to court but from many things he has said and him being neglectful of our son, I really don’t think he’ll get any custody and I have a feeling if he wants visitation, I’ll have to be there while he visits. It depends on the courts but I’m so scared of him and his family. To the point where I’m scared they’ll randomly show up again and possibly try to break in or something. Tomorrow I am going to the court with my family so I can get hopefully get a protection order against my now ex fiance and it should protect both me and my son from him. But idk how it’ll work with things with his family though. They scare me and my exes mom is so neglectful and abusive towards her own kids. I’m terrified she’s going to try to visit as well. Idk I’m rambling at this point. I’m just so scared

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From: Mamadien

Boots, how did court go today asking for the order of protection? I’m glad you are standing strong against being bullied by your ex and his family. I’m glad you are out of that house and with your family. You are doing all of the right things in what sounds like an abusive situation. Please stay strong, take care of you as you care for this little one you are now raising. Listen to and follow the advice of your attorney and definitely stay close to your family. Keep us updated. We care about you, your safety and the safety of your little one. You are loved.

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Boots, thank you for the update. I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal all this stress right after giving birth. and I’m glad that your parents are being supportive. I’m proud of you for not giving into him and for the way you’ve handled things. Legal advice is definitely important and make sure that you’re recording everything he’s done. Let us know how your court visit went and know that we’re thinking about you. ~Mystrose

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From: ManekiNeko

first I want to say what a strong and amazing human and parent you are. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling and it must be so scary to stand up so bravely when this person is throwing gaslighting conversation around.
I hope that things were a little clearer and easier with the court. Perhaps keeping a record of things that either your ex or their family has said to you can be helpful. I know it probably feels hurtful writing those things down and keeping them for a little while, but I do hope it servers a purpose to protect you and your son. You both deserve safety and to not fear that someone is going to show up to your house. I’m so glad you have your family by your side to support you too, and I hope you feel the love and support here that you deserve.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Boots, Thank you for the update, you are really going through it arent you! your ex sounds like a real bully, I am pleased you are getting away from him permenantly. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to make things right and you are doing it all the right way which is legally and above board which is actually very hard to do when you are frightened and unsure about what the other person is going to do next. This surely must be taking its toll on you. You are so very brave to be dealing with this. I cannot offer you any advise with regards to the law because I dont know the law but what your brother did with regards to recording the conversation you had was a brilliant idea and I would advise you to do that any time you meet with your ex, keep any records of every conversation or meeting you have. Cover yourself for every eventuality. Other than that you are doing all you can. We have your back here too please know that. You are awesome. Much Love Lisa. x

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Hey Boots,

I want to start this off by saying how proud I am of you & you should be so proud of yourself as well. You have been having a rough time lately & many people would let all of the things get to them & you haven’t. Thank you for posting & giving us the opportunity to support you through all of these things you have been dealing with. Keep taking care of your baby. Take care of yourself, mamma bear! :paw_prints:

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: twixremix

hi boots,

thank you so much for taking the time to write out an update; i hope putting your thoughts and experiences down in text-form was healing in a cathartic way. i am beyond relieved you officially broke off the toxic relationship you were enduring with your ex fiance. it’s understandable that you’d be scared in this situation with things changing almost everyday.

you mentioned you went to the court for a protection order today - how did it go? i hope you’re able to take it easy the rest of the night with your son, y’all have gone through SO much that you deserve at least one calm night. i’m proud of you for fighting through these traumatic events in order to secure the safety of you and your child. you’re a great parent and i’m wishing for the absolute best for you and your son. sending you both love and comfort as you acquire the protection order. your heartsupport community is here for you if you need anything at all.

love,
twix

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Hey Boots,

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. You and your son do not deserve anything but safety. Having to go to the police to ensure your safety must be hard on you. I am so sorry.

I am glad that you have identified HIS behavior as completely unacceptable, and that he is gaslighting you. I am glad you are taking the steps needed to try to get a more permanent solution in place. Focus in on your family and your self as you get this behind you. We’re here when ever you need us, friend.

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