Update:On Last night

Update on what happen last night I was in my room and I told my family that i was going kill myself I wrote to a note to security office that I’m having a urge/suicidal thoughts They radio a staff member name Mike (he a higher rank on the chain) He sit me down asked me a few questions in the office “Are you suicidal” I said yes and he asked me “do you have any plans” I said no then he asked me “did I cut myself” I said no and he made me show my arms then he asked “do I have any Razors in my room” i said no but if I go back into my room Ill find something to hurt myself with to take the pain away
Mike called a another staff members to ask what they though was and if they should send me to the hospital then that staff member wanted to talk to me and I explain what I said to the other staff member


(they know I have self harm addiction/suicidal thoughts because they the ones who sent me to the hospital/crisis unit last time)

1 Like

Please stay strong. I think it could be said that everyone here is proud of you for being able to seek help, and that we’re all happy that you’re still here with us.
Stay strong, you are loved :slight_smile:

Why do you want to harm yourself? What do you think suicide would resolve?

I use to think suicide would end the suffering or pain. A lot of people think this. Whether its their own or others that they figure they caused. How would one prove it ends? What if it continues anyways? It be a wasted effort. You put energy into something in hopes to end it, but there is no proof it ends.

Another issue that has come up is to atone for one’s own flaws. (I don’t understand this obsession with being perfect when the most awesome/pretty things are so fragile or imperfect.) My point is if you want to fix a flaw or a problem that you cause then how is ending your life going to fix it? Does it really? I think it ends up not being fixed. There is no proof that ending your life will atone/fix/resolve the problems that are persistent that you assume is predominant cause you exist. Seems like a wasted amount of energy to take on hoping for an outcome that is more of a risk than a conclusion.

Nobody/Nothing ever comes to a closure when suicide is involved. (This is why as a person that predominantly gets suicidal I have stopped trying to take my own life.)