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Ups and downs. [Tw ED]

So yea… Kiera is doing great right now, you can read her progress in her update thread.

I’m still struggling to get a grip on my eating again. There are days where I eat very little and there are days where I feel like I can’t stop eating during my lunch break for example.

I have had eating problems my whole life and all this stress recently has certainly contributed to it getting out of hand again.

I need some coping suggestions, or maybe ways that anyone else who is familiar with these issues has manage to get them under control. The binging is generally more of an issue than the deprivation but I think that has to do with getting used to eating when Kiera allows it so to speak.

Any thoughts?

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Could it be that the days you eat very little actually lead to the binging days? I spent half my life being an “emotional eater.” I stopped yo yo dieting about 15 years ago, and my weight is stable. I suppose my diet is kind of boring, but it doesn’t bother me. I eat exactly the same breakfast every morning, a large bowl of bran cereal and a protein shake. I have a small snack, usually a few crackers and a bite of dark chocolate at lunch. Dinner isn’t real heavy, usually 4-6 oz of something high in protein, a side of something green, and usually some squash or potatoes. Then I have 2 scoops of frozen yogurt with chocolate on it. I quit eating meat, except for fish, a long time ago, actually around the time my weight started stabilizing. I take a multivitamin, fish oil, and a couple of other supplements. Blood tests indicate all my lab values are really good. One thing I’ve not done in years is eat a huge meal. I figured out that eating a huge meal leads to pretty extreme hunger after several hours. It’s like my stomach screams for food as it’s emptying. I find that smaller amounts prevents that problem.

What I do works for me, but may not work for very many other people.

I think the first thing for you to do is start moderating the extremes. In other words, eat a bit more on the days when you eat very little, and eat a bit less on binge days. Make the changes gradual, like a spoonful or two less on binge days, and a spoonful or two more on days when you eat little. Gradual changes are sustainable. Your body won’t fight them. Drastic changes are one of the main reasons so many people fail in their attempt to manage their weight.

If you eat in response to your emotions, you need to find another way of dealing with them. You may need help to do that. You may also find that changing other areas of your life will make your intake easier to manage. Becoming a bit more compassionately assertive has helped some people.

I’m so glad Kiera is doing well. Thanks for letting us know.

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Sapphire, I’m so glad that Kiera is doing well. Now that she is, perhaps you can work with a nutritionist (my heath insurance paid for one to visit me a couple times) or some how make a meal plan to follow. You could spend a couple hours a week (maybe hubby can watch Kiera) to meal prep and have healthy meals ready to go. Hope those ideas are helpful to you! ~Mystrose

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From: susieqzz

I have been in recovery for an ED for almost 12 years now and the biggest thing that has always helped me when I’m in a slip up is sticking to a meal plan. It’s very straightforward, black and white, you write it out and do what it says throughout the week. Nothing more, nothing less. I have resources from my ED treatments that have exchange lists and how many exchanges (example, 1 fruit serving, 2 grains servings, etc.) from the food groups to include in each meal, but if you are not familiar with that then I would definitely recommend seeing a dietician! Probably one that specializes in EDs so it’s not about calorie counting or dieting/restricting. Just writing out 3 meals and 3 snacks a day and making it priority to eat when it’s time to eat.

I’m so happy that you are coming here for help before it gets out of hand! It’s possible to overcome this. Hang in there!

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Sapphire, Thank you for your post, I am sorry that this eating issue is beginning to get out of hand again but I am also really pleased that you have acknowledged it and are looking for ways to get back on track which isnt easy when you are fun off of your feet. I think really you already know what to do, you are looking for encouragement and I dont blame you, anything to do with anthing dietry generally needs encouragement, its darn harn keeping to a routine with food, calories, carbs, protiens all that jazz. Ultimately you know that you need to enough energy to keep you going but not too much that you dont use it. Having your little girl is amazing but should not stop you sitting and having a spot of lunch. I am making it sound so easy and I know it isnt. Having an ED is no joke and far from easy, sticking to rules on food is no joke but there is also no easy way to do it, you just have to make up your mind and do it. Much Love Lisa xx

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Thanks for the responses, all.

I think this is accurate, I know that in order to lose weight I need to eat healthy, control my portions and exercise. The issue for me is that it’s hard for me to stop when I’m overwhelmed and just feel like binging.

I have been making an effort - I bought some salads so I’m not eating as much junk throughout the week and I didn’t buy and snack food to tempt me. I have lost around a pound.

It’s just hard to keep the motivation when everything else in your life is going to hell. I know I am not the only one going through I hard time and I don’t want to sound like that by any means. This is just how my mind wants to cope right now and I have to actively fight it.

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The problem with actively fighting something is by doing so, you’re giving it the illusion of power. That illusion can be overwhelming. The reality is that you have an astounding amount of power to overcome negative habits. Rather than fight them, turn away from them. Redirect cravings and urges toward something beneficial. Temptations are like passing clouds. Acknowledge them, but just let them pass. Your power lies in your moment to moment choices.

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I like this point of view but, as they say, it’s easier said than done.

I bought a bunch of salad, fruit and rice cakes yesterday. I’ve passed up some temptations. To be honest I think the reason it’s been easier these past few days is because I’m on vacation and I can distract myself easier with gaming when I’m not feeding/changing/playing with Kiera.

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