Urges to self-harm

I haven’t self-harmed in a few months now. But now I just feel so much worse without it. I don’t know if I can’t fight this urge for much longer, and I can’t think of anything that will actually help. I don’t know what to do.

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Self-harming definatelty won’t help, only make things worse. If you haven’t done any harm to yourself for a few months - it means that you CAN stay strong and you CAN stop doing it!

Why are you self-harming yourself in first place? Are you punishing yourself for something?

Everything in my life is just so terrible, painful, and overwhelming. I self-harmed for a while and it helped me cope. But things weren’t improving. I could cope but not get better. So I tried talking with friends, and more importantly stopped self-harming. But then things just drastically got worse in terms of my mental state. I started get urges to cut again. I was able to ignore those for a while, but seeing what a terrible state I’m in without self-harm, I couldn’t help but think it was a mistake to stop. That things will start to get better if I go back to it. I don’t want to have to fight this urge anymore if it’s just hurting me.

Good for you for having introspection and understanding your feelings. That is very difficult to do and is a sign that you’re striving to improve. Short term coping mechanisms can feel good in the short term, but they just compound over time. I too am facing desires today to cope in harmful ways, and knowing I’m not alone helps me feel supported. We can get through today. Do you have any coping mechanisms that are healthy in the long run?

Besides self-harm, nothing has helped me cope really. I mean, yeah I do things I enjoy, but they don’t really change my mental state even in the moment. But when I self-harmed, I found some actual improvement. Not much, but enough that I look back on it and regret stopping.

Interesting. Thank you for your candor and honesty. There’s a reason so many people struggle with addiction and self-harm. It works in the short run. Right now I just want my anxiety to go away, but I know relapsing will only replace one negative feeling with another. I’m trying to think of other things to do. Maybe I’ll try meditating. Have you ever tried it?

I’ve tried meditation and all sorts of things like that. They don’t help. There are so many terrible thoughts in my head and meditating and stuff like that help. It just won’t help.

Hmmm. Well maybe try practicing active gratitude. Like think of stuff or writing stuff down that you’re grateful for. That doesn’t make all my problems magically go away, but it does help with shifting my perspective to some good things.

I hate to sound like a brat, but I can’t think of much. And even if I could sit down and think of more, there’s so many things that make my life so miserable and not worth suffering like this.

You don’t sound like a brat. That’s reality. Sometimes coping with these strategies is not just about the destination, but the process and experience. And if you only think of one or two things to be grateful for, then great! Taking the time to think about those thing a is what’s important. Not sure if that makes sense or not :confused:

Experiencing life as it’s been so far is not something I look forward to. To me, it’s not about the process, it’s been about getting this hell over with. I want this to be over as soon as possible, and it doesn’t feel worth it to try those things. You’ve been so nice, but at the same time, I don’t think what you said will help. I’m so sorry. I’m asking for help and rejecting it. I just don’t feel confident it doing it. Self-harm seems so much easier and better.

Yeah, that’s just the reality of vices. They are so appealing. But long term they just damage us more than they help.

Tried something similar, but with writing down your pros. Thought about what to write, but when i just replaced all things like “I cannot play guitar good enough compared to others” with “I can play guitar, i play better than a novice. And i want to be better for myself” the list got to more than 50 points. Did it really helped and solved the problems? No, but it helped to understand what you are in a real way. I think it’s a very important step in understanding yourself and having a little, but important victory. At least, it’s worth a try.

That’s just great! A desire is very important, maybe the most important step. If you don’t know what worth a try, just make a small list of what(or who) could help and how. And just go with this list, step by step. Then you can say what works for you and what were a waste of time.

p.s. i don’t think that everything we try is a waste of time. Every time we lose time, we at least gain experience. Just don’t give up!

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