Used, forgotten, emotionless

Sometimes I think I have good close friends. That our friendship means something to them. That I possibly mean more than there other social life. We have known eachother for years before anyone else came along. So I mean there should be something. But today is one of those days that I realize it doesn’t. Last night I didn’t want to be alone. I wasn’t trusting myself so I texted my friend, telling her if she could come over I needed her. So of corse she said well I’m at my boyfriends. Okay I will pick you up later at night like 12. So then she says I would rather you pick me up in the morning. That’s where I first felt hurt. I am always there for her. Because she has mental illness’s to. So even when I was in a relationship I was always there. But I guess it’s not the same… She said pick me up in the morning. So of corse I just said yea because I didn’t want to fight. But the morning roles around and she is blowing up my phone. She no longer can come over because school is tomorrow. I know she knew school was tomorrow she used this not to come over. But that’s not the end nope. Apparently she doesn’t have a ride home from her boyfriends and wants me to give her a ride. So let me get this straight when I need you for my own mental because I didn’t want to be alone. You won’t come over, but if you need a ride I’m supposed to drop everything for you and take you home! Of corse what am I going to end up doing. Taking her home… it just hurts because I thought that she of all people would be there. But nope…I spent the night alone like I didn’t want to…

I haven’t been feeling right mentally lately. The people I thought I could trust have only been using me…and I feel I have no one I can turn to. I feel so alone anymore. The one person I want to turn to I can’t. She is my ex and she has moved on but I can’t seem to because I love her…and I want to be with her. But maybe it’s best that I’m alone maybe that way I won’t get hurt anymore. At this point I’m so done with emotions and trying to be a person anymore…

Hey Kingamuas!

It always sucks when people we love seem to fail us. I would encourage you to talk to her about how you’re feeling and how it made you feel that she asked you for a ride. Maybe she didn’t realize you weren’t doing great mentally that night.

Please know that you are loved and needed here.

Hold Fast,
-SJ

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Hi Kingamuas,

Thank you for sharing. I know how frustrating it is to feel like you have close friends you can rely on, only to find later they fade away or say/do things that make you feel like that don’t care.

I’m not sure if the person you initially mentioned is your ex, or a different friend, but I agree with Sarah. Maybe reaching out to that person and further explaining why you wanted he/she to be there, and how you are feeling now.

Please also remember that this community is here for you. You can get through this. We believe in you.

<3 D

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Hey @Kingamuas,

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Sadly people aren’t perfect and they will eventually mess up. It sounds like one of your best friends made a terrible mistake and prioritized her boyfriend over your needs. Don’t think that just because she made a mistake means that she doesn’t care about you - she still does, she’s just probably infatuated and really urns for her boyfriend’s attention. Do you have anyone else you can entrust your feelings with? Isolation could potentially be dangerous, so please don’t completely cut yourself from your community. In the meantime, you have us! :slight_smile:

-Eric

King,

Being there for a person can be through a phone call or text. I know that sometimes that is hard but life I’ve learned has to come first. We are human and we all screw up which it seems like she did this time.

The thing I’ve had to learn through a lot of trial and error is that if you are not in the right mindset, that it’s hard to be better for the other person. It doesn’t matter who that person is what matters is that you are there when it counts. She wasn’t there for you when you needed her the most. It seems as if you were used but it also seems like it was neglect when you needed them the most.

Don’t cut yourself off from us and don’t isolate. Keep talking to us that’s why we are here.

Stay strong brother,
PMacDanceDude (Patrick) Team Out of the Ashes

@Kingamuas You’re so loved friend. Hold Fast.

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@Kingamuas I would definitely encourage you to have a chat with her. Sometimes when we get into relationships, as I’d say most people would agree to, we kind of lose sight. We become enamored with our significant other. And it can suck for the friends around us who suddenly see or feel a shift in the relationship. I am hoping that you are doing well today, and if not, then I hope you are at least safe. Please continue chatting with us.

<3 Tara