Venting About Life

This is my first post so this will be interesting. I found this group yesterday at warped tour in Chicago. I’ve been struggling with my depression and anxiety for years now and it’s only getting worse. Two weeks ago I was playing with my dog and all of a sudden a wet blanket of sadness came over me. I tried to continue playing with my dog to get my mind in a more positive place but it only got worse. It got to the point that I honestly just wanted to die. I took some pills that I have and called it a night. Being alive still I have mixed emotions. I am grateful to be alive and continue helping myself but I also feel selfish. There are people fighting for their life and most of the time I want to throw mine away. I’d give them my life so they can continue on when I want to walk away.

2 Likes

Hey icecream So glad you found HS at warped tour.

First you are not selfish for wanting to help yourself, but i would say it is selfish when you don’t want help from others with you proving that you want help from others. SO YOU are not selfish! You are so strong for wanting to reach out to people.

By sharing your story you are fighting for your life! You are seriously strong again for sharing your story.
You have the opportunity to heal and I have had times where I needed reminders that persevering through this struggle will come healing. I prayed so many times when I was struggling with so much doubt in myself. I would go God seriously why is nothing go right my way and he would remind me that the best time when struggling is to be honest with my friends and family. He reminded me that I was not alone in my despair.

So what i want to share with you is that know that you are so not alone in this battle. We may not able to carry you all the way but we can help you get to the top. Seriously You are so loved and I want you seriously know here at HS you become family.

There is a book by one of the staff members of HeartSupport that wrote a book about depression called Dwarf Planet and was just came out, it was at the booth at warped tour. Whatever you do know that you are loved and be honest with the people around you.

ALSO, GIVE YOUR DOG A HUG FOR ME!

-Mo
-The leader of the support wall team Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters

1 Like

Hi @icecream,
I’m so glad you found us yesterday, and I’m proud of you for joining us here.

Depression and anxiety are difficult, and you are not alone. It’s hard to recognize it sometimes, but it sounds like you did, and it sounds like you tried to work through it by continuing to play with your dog. Trying counts for a LOT.

I’m really glad you’re still here, and that your continuing to fight and try to help yourself. You’re here, and that’s a positive thing - again, I’m proud of you for taking that step. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Sometimes we need to, just to get our head in a better place. If you are able to be open about what is going on and why you are needing to be selfish with the people around you that are important to you, it may help them allow you the space to do what you need to. Just be careful not to let it become a way to isolate yourself.

Sending love and hugs your way, friend. Hold fast.

<3 AnitaBandaid

1 Like

My friends and I went up to the booth and a guy there told us about you guys. He was very kind. Reading other people’s stories made me feel connected to them. Someone gave us a marker to write our own stories and the man who told us about you guys saw what I was writing and gave me some books. I wish I could thank him again because it means the world to me.

2 Likes

@icecream I think I know who that was. He will probably see this. <3

3 Likes

I think i know who it was also I have his number and tell him to check this out.

1 Like

Hey icecream,

First and foremost thank you for sharing your story. You are SO BRAVE for being able to do so, and it is no small feat. Be proud of yourself for finding that courage within yourself. Others will follow your example, and that is incredible.

I am so happy that you found our tent yesterday and someone was able to give you those resources. My name is Matt, and I was at the tent yesterday. I am not sure if it was me that helped you or not, but the important this is that you were willing to admit that there is something wrong, and begin your road to recovery and happiness again.

You are important. You have worth. You are loved. And most importantly you are never alone in this battle. We all have our struggles, and yours is just as important as mine, or anyone else’s. Please do not feel selfish for posting here and reaching out for help.

Use Dwarf Planet and ReWrite. Those books gave me so much perspective and hope for a better tomorrow, and changed my life for the better. Hold fast friend <3

Matt
twoguys1couch

3 Likes

Thank you Matt for being at that tent when I was there. I’ve needed help for such a long time but never had the courage to seek help. The books you gave me have already started connecting the dots and opening my eyes. I can’t thank you enough for just the smallest interaction but it has made such a big impact on me.

3 Likes

Hey @icecream (I love your name),

First off, I want to welcome you to HeartSupport! I hope that you find a sense of safety and refuge within this amazing community. :slight_smile:

Thank you so much for willing to share your story with us. It means a lot that you trust a bunch of strangers to help you through life. We’re here for you when you need us!

I’m so sorry to hear about the depression and anxiety that you’re struggling with. You’re definitely not alone. I, too, struggle with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and clinical depression. Have you tried checking out counseling? It’s one of the best things that I’ve ever done; I feel so, so good every time after leaving. You mentioned that you “took some pills and called it a night” - what type of pills? Are you currently on anything to help treat your depression and/or anxiety?

In the meantime, remember that your life has immense value. That’s a fact, no matter how you’re feeling on any given day. You’re strong. You’ve come so far. You got this! Please keep us updated.

-Eric

1 Like

It’s been really hard for the past couple years but the past few months my depression has been very bad. I have recently had surgery so I had pain pills. Ive been to therapy but my therapist wasn’t the best. I know they aren’t all bad but I’m still hesitant.

1 Like