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Venting my feelings

Hey sorry for wasting your time idk why I’m trying to get help when I don’t want it but ig I want attention or something but I’m scared for Friday because I recently started cutting my arm again I keep saying to myself I’m faking hating myself and idk why I keep saying to to myself I feel like I’m losing it all I feel is boredom and hatred towards myself I hate living and I no longer want to I have pictured my suicide many times and I am growing ever closer to do it like I keep doing these tiny cuts to my arm with the knife but I want it deeper and deeper when I do it and I try do get it but I back off and do it slightly just a lot of small cuts , I don’t cry anymore for some reason no panic just sometimes being scared and I don’t know what made me like it I just feel like something is always watching me I guess I can’t tell if I’m going insane or something but it feels like one day I’m going to snap and do something idk what I keep getting aggressive and I try bottle it but sometimes I get a bit agressive with my cats not like hurt them or anything I would never but I grab there heads lightly and just look at them and feel sad idk why then I take some cat and hug it under my covers and get scared af thinking someone is watching over me sleeping all I want to do is bleed this is getting to long sorry idk why I’m wasting your time I’m a i don’t even know

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Hey friend,

Thank you so much for posting here and sharing your experience. It takes a lot of bravery to open up, especially in a new place for the first time. I also want to apologize for the delay in response we have been receiving a a lot of new posts lately.

First I want to say that you’re not wasting nayone’s time. Your feelings are important and I am so glad that you shared them here. Your words matter and this pain you are feeling matters. I’m sorry that things have been so difficult recently.

I know self harm can be incredibly addictive and difficult to overcome. We actually have a self harm workbook that may help you and you can do the exercises right here on the forum. Here is a link: HeartSupport Workbooks

I just want to encourage you that there is hope for healing. I know it doesnt feel like it right now but there are better days ahead. You just have to keep trying. If you haven’t already and it’s possible for you to do so I definitely encourage therapy. In addition, we have a discord where you can meet others who are going through similar struggles and find support there. http://discord.gg/heartsupport

Sending love to you friend, I am happy you’re here!

T

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Hi @Jamie0 ,

On Saturday May 1st, the HeartSupport team deployed to a Taco festival in Houston Texas.

We posted a shortened version of your topic to the Support Wall at the festival, and asked festival goers to respond to your post by writing on a tile. Each picture below is of 1 tile, and is from someone who cared enough to stop and speak encouragement to you.

Here are their replies to your post. We hope that the words and support from these Houstonians help encourage and support you.

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