I haven’t been with my sister this much in years. And I can tell. I know I’m being short with her, so I’m trying to take me time away from her. But she’s being clingy. She’s also the oldest. She keeps doing things that bother me, like randomly being unable to keep still (then claiming “its because im adhd” but she’s never done it before) and wanting to keep touching me. Or only wanting to talk about our flag means death and convincing me to watch it (she mentions it daily. At least 5 times.)
I think part of it is im frustrated with her reaction. I told her I am demisexual and queer, and now she’s bi. I said I am gender queer and maybe agender or something, as non binary doesn’t fit. She said same. I told her I think I might be on the aromantic scale and she told me im asexual.
Im autistic and now she is adhd. My other sister is adhd too but doesn’t behave so… weirdly. she has a bunch of weird changes and says its because she is adhd and I think she is using it as an excuse.
Im frustrated with her.
Shes also super overweight (obese) and I know its not my body but it bothers me because it cannot be healthy. And I just feel gross. Maybe because I remember her as normal sized? I don’t know.
I have a lot of pent up frustration with her. I dont want to confide in her anymore. She just says same or says its something else. All she wants to talk about are random interests of hers. Im the autistic one with a special interest!! I do my best to stay tight lipped because no one wants to hear it.
I feel mad and angry and disgusted.
I also left my journal at home which turned out to be a bad idea, despite being on vacation