A lot of times, I’ll get incredibly annoyed or upset and get an urge to hurt something. It usually happens when I’m in loud settings or when I feel that something is unfair, if that makes sense. One time, I was holding my small dog while I was really upset about something. I can’t even remember what made me so upset, but I started hugging my dog really tight and it yiped. I cried about it later. In other situations, I usually scratch myself with my nails until I bleed. I don’t really want to hurt anybody, but these feelings convince me that I need to. Am I a bad person?
I understand where you are coming from, I’ve had many moments like these before. It does not make you a bad person. Maybe there is an outside source causing you pain, and it feels good to be able to control pain in yourself or other beings. You are loved and we hear you.
Hang in there, friend