I left a mentally abusive marriage about a year ago. Now whenever I disappoint my current boyfriend I feel all the things my ex husband used to call me.
First thing, I dont even know you but I am proud you left the abusive relationship. No one should have to go through that. Also, what people say about you has NOTHING to do who you really are. You’re self worth is totally out of their control. You are loved, you are worth it, and you were created for a purpose.
This is something that I think a lot of people struggle with. I recently saw a quote that said “The hardest relationship is the healthy relationship after an abusive one.” It’s SO TRUE. My ex had depression, and had a hard time keeping himself happy, let alone me. But he was emotionally abusive, whether it was intentional or not. I still notice myself needing reassurance and questioning things in my current relationship. I hate that I do it, but I can’t help it.
Express this to your partner, and be open about your past relationships. It may help them to understand better and express understanding. Once you know that they understand, you will feel less guilty about it. And also, just time helps. You will realize that your new relationship isn’t like the old one, and you will begin to feel those old feelings less and less.
Also, proud of you for removing yourself from an abusive relationship. It’s hard but you have support. <3