This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Sick Boi Ren
Wanted to share my most horrific experience with a therapist: It was the first or second session. I didn’t feel too safe to talk openly to him yet. He asked me about my childhood experiences and I have a tendency to fall silent when my feelings overwhelm me (autistic spectrum, didn’t know that back then). I think I said sth like I can’t talk about it right now and it’s difficult to even pinpoint exactly what ‘my problem’ in general is. I was just extremely depressed and suicidal back then and just released from a 3-month psychiatric hospital stay looking for ambulant therapy. His response to me not talking straightforward and openly about all my traumas was: “Well, I think you aren’t really in need of a therapist or even sick. You just want a therapist because you think it is cool and an achievement to show off with.”
I was struck speechless and shocked. I think I never heard sth so hurtful from a professional I was asking for help. And it made me feel so ashamed and like I was a frauf and had no right to seek help. Mind that I was also just 19 years old back then and really insecure. I had some really good therapists since then and I still got a brilliant one today. But that was a horrific experience back then and it still huts me sometimes.
I am so sorry that you have been told such an evil and unkind lie from someone who you trusted and was supposed to help you. Shame on your past therapist (if they even deserve to be called a therapist) for such unprofessionalism.
I am very proud of you for how far you have come. From what I have read, you have endured so much and have been so strong in finding help and taking care of yourself. I hope you are proud of yourself too, this is not an easy task for one to do.
It makes me very happy to know that such an awful experience did not stop you from pursuing therapy. As someone who has gone though many unhelpful therapists myself, I often times think how grateful I am that I never gave up on therapy because of how much it has helped me. Have you ever mentioned to your current therapist this hurt? I’m sure they can let you know that many people fear they are not bad enough for therapy or also have felt like a fraud.
You will always have a right to seek help. Every emotion that you are feeling is valid and deserves to be felt. We never judge people in hospitals, no matter how sick or not sick they may appear. If you ever need help, know that you will always receive support and no judgment at HeartSupport.
You are an overcomer; More than an overcomer. I am very proud and inspired by the person that you are today. No lie from anyone can ever change the amazing person that you are. Sending you love my friend <3
Wow. How awful was his reaction and the words he used. How uncaring and dismissive too. That’s definitely not something any professional should ever say. Even if someone was to give a try to therapy because they need attention, that would still show that this person needs support and is carrying wounds with them. On your end, you were in this intimidating position of having to talk, and that can be so scary. In a new environment, with someone you didn’t know yet, and on top of it about things that are painful/make you feel vulnerable. It’s the reunion of all conditions that require from the person in front of you to show up with utmost care and empathy.
I’m so sorry that this happened, friend. You are absolutely not a fraud and have all the right to seek help. As someone who struggled with going no-verbal when feeling overwhelmed - I was diagnosed later on with c-PTSD, suspected on the autism spectrum too. I can’t count the amount of interactions where people around me would have lost patience and took the lack of communication personally. As if being mad would have made the situation any better.
No one, including therapists, get to judge how much pain you might be feeling or how much it affects you. Even a seemingly non-important event can have a huge impact on someone’s well-being. The role of the therapist is to meet their client where they are, to learn to understand how they feel, not to pressure them to be where they want them to be.
That was indeed a horrific experience. I’m sending plenty of hugs your way and do hope that you didn’t let this take away the possibility for you to get the support you need. You matter so very much. Your voice, your story, your well-being matter.