I’ve been through a lot of tough times with family. With my mom, moving back and forth between houses. I’ve been through abuse with my moms boyfriend from when I was 9. I moved out and then moved back in at 17 but she’s still with the same guy. I’ve told her that he scares me and that he’s the reason I don’t visit her anymore but I feel like she doesn’t really care and I have no idea what to do about it. Its led me into depresion and I’ve had a lot of suicidal thoughts. I began cutting and try to stop but I don’t know any other way to get away from the pain.
You matter and I support you.
I started responding to the people writing on the support wall at Warped Tour and soon found that as the day was ending there are a lot of people, like yourself, bravely reaching out for support.
I am saddened to hear about what is going on with you.
While it isn’t an excuse, I feel that your mom is going through some things. The fact that she is continuing to see a boyfriend who her daughter fears probably has more to do with her fears and insecurities than with you… and as horrible as it has to make you feel, I encourage you to try and find positive people and destinations for you and your life outside of, or without your mom.
Some day down the road your relationship may change… but for now it is important that you focus on yourself, your health and safety and what you want to do, where you want to be, who you want to become… because you matter and you deserve your love, your time and your compassion.
I do really believe in you and whatever it is that brought you here today. It was really smart and brave of your to reach out.
Please do consider therapy. I know some people have negative thoughts about therapy… and others are worried about costs and insurance. There are some really good therapists out there and I am hopeful that you will find one with a personality that you can relate too, someone you can trust and who will do right by you, as you deserve. In the US many colleges who have courses for counselors offer low cost or even free therapy. The students may have a type of internship where they gain experience and you gain therapy… There are other alternatives as well, if you are having trouble finding them consider contacting a crisis line… they are trained to help you come up with a plan and they have lots of useful resources that they can offer you for free. Crisis counselors are awesome people and want to help, so give them a shot.
Overall, you do matter. You deserve so much more. Take care of you. There is a beautiful tomorrow out there waiting for you to arrive.
Hey, I thought I included resource links for you as well, but somehow I did not: https://heartsupport.com/resources/
There are books for both depression and self harm from heart support. You probably received the depression book “Dwarf Planet” at the tent, there is also another book “ReWrite” please take a look.
You matter
Hi friend, I’m so sorry. Thank you for opening up.
It’s a rough one - but, I would recommend only visiting when this guy is not around if you cannot get your mother to listen. It’s totally okay to put yourself first. If you haven’t looked into the book ReWrite, it’s a workbook on self harm, and also Dwarf Planet, a workbook on depression - I think these will be good for you. They’ve helped a lot of people, including me. You can find them for free on the HeartSupport website, or buy them on amazon 
Cutting isn’t the end - you can overcome it. I was stuck in self harm for 12 years, now, there’s some light for me. There will be for you too.
Hold Fast
Kayla