I’m a combat veteran, I have ptsd, I think about killing myself constantly, I drink to sleep, i wake up with terrible nightmares. I have a date picked out for when I do want to kill myself, I’m terrified of hurting my sister because I’m incapable of controlling what happens when I’m sleeping the va cant help me I’ve tried them many times and they cant do shit I’m tired very tired
You matter and I support you.
I started responding to the people writing on the support wall at Warped Tour and soon found that as the day was ending there are a lot of people, like yourself, bravely reaching out for support.
While I am not a combat veteran, I have PTSD. I know of the terrible nightmares… the fear of going to sleep… staying up until I am dead tired and hoping that my brain is too tired to think while I am asleep.
I can hear how much you care about your sister… and I am pissed off that the VA is not doing everything to help someone who went into combat… the front row of this country deserves all of the support of the US behind your back.
This advice is heartfelt and hopefully helpful in some way. I care.
I do really believe in you and whatever it is that brought you here today. It was really smart and brave of your to reach out.
Please do consider therapy. I know some people have negative thoughts about therapy… and others are worried about costs and insurance. There are some really good therapists out there and I am hopeful that you will find one with a personality that you can relate too, someone you can trust and who will do right by you, as you deserve. In the US many colleges who have courses for counselors offer low cost or even free therapy. The students may have a type of internship where they gain experience and you gain therapy… There are other alternatives as well, if you are having trouble finding them consider contacting a crisis line… they are trained to help you come up with a plan and they have lots of useful resources that they can offer you for free. Crisis counselors are awesome people and want to help, so give them a shot.
Overall, you do matter. You deserve so much more. Take care of you. There is a beautiful tomorrow out there waiting for you to arrive.
Hi friend 
You seem to be in a rough spot right now but I want you to know we are here for you and love you. I’m sorry your PTSD isn’t being treated by the VA. Are you able to see a counselor outside of the VA?
Just know you are loved and we all care about you in this community. We want to help you and encourage you show how much we all care for you. You are always welcome to come here to talk about what’s on your mind.
Maddie
I’m sorry, this sounds rough. We have a lot of veterans in the community that deal with PTSD, and some who also drink to deal with it. I think that they would be more than willing to talk to you if you need someone to listen and understand.
I know that it’s horrible when you’re told the people that are supposed to help you, can’t or won’t - I had the same thing with the mental health team when I was deep in depression, to the point I was threatening to kill myself. We aren’t professionals here, but, we are people who care about you, and have been in similar places, and we will do whatever we can to help you. If you can’t live for yourself right now, that’s okay. Keep living for your sister. Talk to her. Let her help you.
Hold Fast
Kayla