Struggling to find where I belong. I don’t wanna be a loner and I want to be happy. Do I follow what is a traditional way to reach the American dream or risk it all for true happiness?
Find true happiness and be who you are. I struggled for years trying to be what I thought the American Dream wanted me to be and I ended up unhappy. It wasn’t until I risked it and found my true happiness in who I really was that I could escaped the feeling of being unhappy.
You belong here. You belong in the music family. You went to Warped Tour dude! That’s where you belong, amongst the awesome family that is the metal community.
Follow whatever makes you happy. It will be a risk worth taking. If you’re truly passionate, and the path is the one you WANT to take, it will work out for you. Do what makes you happy and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re wrong.
@YUNGBLUD_Fans this is a GREAT question and one I’m glad you’re exploring. I think in most of our day to day live we feel like we don’t fit in and struggling feeling like an imposter. Certainly even the most famous people do.
I think it’s also really important that you’re experiencing a lot of resistance around this. Author Steven Pressfield has perhaps the best explanation as to why we experience so much resistance around the areas in our lives where things need to change or have to. He said, “Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.”
For centuries sailors used Polaris (the North Star) as their “true north.” Anytime they got off course, they could look to the night sky and course correct. Resistance does the same thing. It always points you in the direction you should be heading. The reason that fear and gut check tends to happen is because deep down we know it’s what we should do.
Like all of us when faced with failure, hardship, and adversity the temptation is to give up. Why be responsible or endure when the path of least resistance is so much easier? _Lonely? _You’d tell your child or another person the importance of reaching for their dreams, wouldn’t you? But as adults it’s “just too hard.” Afraid that we won’t find joy in the process? We remind children that difficult environments—even school—are places to stretch and grow. But as adults, we’re comfortable staying put and never rocking the boat.
Yet, when we look at a situation we find unbearable and examine our reasons why we can’t move forward, they’re often filled with our own excuses. Because it’s too hard. I’ll never succeed. I’ll get rejected. People will laugh. I don’t know enough. I’m not qualified.
The only cure is to show up, persevere, and get your ass handed to you in the process. You’ll be bad at this at first. We all are. But this is also the key to courageous living, just like what we want for our friends. In Brené Brown’s recent Netflix hit, The Call to Courage, she reminds her listeners of this essential truth when living in the fighting arena of life:
“If you choose to live in the arena, you’re going to get your ass kicked. You’re going to fall, you’re going to fail, you’re going to know heartbreak… but today… choose courage over comfort.”
I think deep down you know the path to take. The great news is that we’ll be here as your community every step of the way to support you and cheer you on. You can do this.
Alright friend first let me just say this you do belong. You belong where your heart sings and you just find joy. I know that is easier to type than to believe. I also want to say that the American dream is not always going to make each person happy. I find that sometimes we need to dream for what we want and that is the American dream. Dreams are what we want them to be not what others would like. No two humans are the same so it is important to know that your dream is not the same as mine or any other human. You need to go for the things you want and not let others pick for you. I know easier said than done but you truy do have a right to be you.
Hold fast we are here.
I think that depends on what you want in life. Success looks different for everyone. For some, success is just falling in love and staring a family, for some success is achieving their career goals, and for others success is just making the decision to wake up and decide to live. Never give up on what you want to do. Everyone’s journey is different and it is okay if your journey doesn’t look like everyone else’s. Work hard and know that if it is something that you love and will truly bring you happiness then that is something worth pursuing. Hold fast, we believe in you.
I love you. we all love you. I promise you that you will find your way. there will come a day when you will feel confident in who you are, where you are, and what you’re doing. be gentle with yourself, friend. please think about what is best for you and what makes you happy. if you don’t know right now, that’s okay. it’ll take time but I promise you that you will overcome this: )