Hey! My name is Lilia, Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m trapped between who I am who I wanna be and who people expect me to be. I honestly don’t even know who I am at this point. If I’m trying to play a role of the perfect daughter, or the role of a cool friend. I’m just confused on everything at this point. I’ve lost friendships I thought would last forever and I just feel like I’m stuck. I don’t know who I am what I wanna do with my life, I can’t even imagine what my life will be like in 10 years, that sounds like a whole lifetime away. Your music (Yungblud) is really great I feel happy when Im singing along and just rockin out. There’s time when I do feel depressed and like I just can’t do anything aside from get up and go to work and sleep then repeat. It sucks because I had so many interests like reading, writing, swimming, but now I can’t even watch an episode of a show because I just can’t concentrate. I know I’m all over the place and I don’t make any sense but I guess that just projects what I’m feeling inside. Thank you for listening 
Welcome, Lilia!
I completely understand what you’re going through. This is my first summer living on my own, and I thought I was going to work out every morning before work, then come home and cook dinner and life would be good. That’s not the case - I haven’t worked out at all this summer except maybe two times, and when I do come home and make dinner, it’s something easy and unhealthy like mac and cheese. I don’t have the energy to make dinner or work out because my job is so demanding. However, I know that I can stop my job at the end of summer and I can start doing the things I want and need to be doing. It’s hard to know what you want to do with your life, and THAT’S OKAY. I changed my major two times last year and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. You’ll figure it out as you grow and learn more. I’m glad Yungblud is an outlet for you. If you ever want to talk more, just post again on the wall or DM someone on the website or our HS Discord.
Hold fast <3
love,
sophic
Hi Lilia!
That sounds really difficult. I want you to remember that you are loved just the way you are. The people who love you love you for you and you don’t need to be perfect for them to love you. No one is perfect and it is unfair for you to be forced to have this perfect mask on all the time. I really encourage you to let yourself be yourself more and not what others want you to be. You are never trapped. You are never stuck. Keep fighting and pushing through every night because I promise you things will get better. You are not alone.
Lilia thank you for coming and sharing even just a small part of what is going on for you. I am so sorry that you are struggling with all of this. I may not be an expert or in your shoes exactly but I have gone through a point in life where I faked the roles I was suppose to be and it was different based off of who I was with so I am going to base what I say off that time in my own life. I dont know if you have heard of the band Dayseeker but they wrote a song called Counterparts. This is a song that I used to get me through a lot. It is kind of about this idea. We are fighting so much and when we hide who we truly are to please those around us we loose our selves. It is likes a flood of water taking over our lives. I will say this that when you truly let yourself just be the true you it becomes so much more than a simple allowing yourself to be free but it becomes that freedom. That freedom to be who you truly are.
This speaks to me in so many ways because honesty until I jumped and made a move I didnt know who I was or what I wanted to be. Sometimes metaphorically we need to jump into the deep in and see if we can swim. Perhaps try to if you can volunteer at places to see some of the things you like you mentioned singing along to music and reading etc… If that is stuff you enjoy perhaps look into thing that those can go into. I know that it is hard to know what the future holds because none of us can predict the future but we can take it one day at a time and hope for the best and that we just find something we LOVE to do. For now that is what you should focus on finding something that brings you joy and happiness because if you try to find the future you will miss the present and the present is just as important as the future infront of us. Time to fight for that present and not just the future that you cant solve yet. Your not there yet. Perhaps there is something that you fear could happen but for me personally I had to stop fearing what is too come and just say it isnt in my control yet but when it is I will be more prepared for it if I focus to learn what I can right now.
Hold fast
Ash